The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 99.,
August 2, 1890., by Various

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Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 99., August 2, 1890.

Author: Various

Release Date: May 11, 2004 [EBook #12323]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, VOL. 99 ***

Produced by Malcolm Farmer, William Flis, and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team.

PUNCH,

OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

VOL. 99.

August 2, 1890.

[Illustration: A "SCENE" IN THE HIGHLANDS.

_Ill-used Husband_ (_under the Bed_). "AYE! YE MAY CRACK ME, AND
YE MAY THRASH ME, BUT YE CANNA BREAK MY MANLY SPERRIT. I'LL NA COME
OOT!!"]

* * * * *

PUNCH TO THE SECOND BATTALION.

"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"--JUVENAL.

You're off, boys, to Bermuda
(_Like_ "the Bermoothes," "vexed").
The Guards rebel? _Proh pudor!_
What next--and next--and next?
Who'll guard the Guards, if they guard not
The fame they should revere?
Fie on the row, row, row, row,
Of the British Grenadier!

Your _Punch_ is sorry for you,
And for these lads "in quod;"
But Discipline's a parent
That _must_ not spare the rod.
May you right soon redeem your name,
And no more may _Punch_ hear
Of the row, row, row, row, row, row,
Of the British Grenadier!

_If_ you have been o'er-worried
By ultra-Martinet;
Into unwisdom hurried,
Be sure Bull won't forget.
But England's Redcoats must _not_ ape
The Hyde Park howl, that's clear;
So no more row, row, row, row,
From the British Grenadier!

* * * * *

ROBERT'S AMERICAN ACQUAINTANCE.

My akwaintance among eminent selebraties seems to be rapidly
encreasing. Within what _Amlet_ calls a week, a little week, after my
larst intervue with the emenent young Swell as amost lost his art to
the pretty Bridesmade, I have been onored with the most cordial notice
of a werry emenent Amerrycane, who cums to Lundon wunce ewery year,
and makes a good long stay, and allus cums to one or other of our
Grand Otels. He says he's taken quite a fansy to me, and