sings them a Drinking Song with Chorus. All
join in Chorus and Dance. Curtain_.

[Illustration: An awkward moment for Hamlet. Row with his Mother and
Ophelia.]

ACT II.--_Opening Chorus (anything; it doesn't matter if it's only
pretty and bright). Enter_ HAMLET. _Solo_. "_Etre, ou ne pas etre."
Enter_ OPHELIA _with book, pretends not to see_ HAMLET. _Solo. Enter_
Queen. OPHELIA _complains to her that_ HAMLET _isn't behaving like
a gentleman._ Queen _upbraids_ HAMLET: _So does_ OPHELIA: HAMLET
_depressed, Exit_ Queen R.H. _Exit_ OPHELIA L.H. HAMLET _remains,
evidently going mad_. PALLADINO _looks in. Dances_. HAMLET _joins her.
Enter Friends, Courtiers, Peasants, and other Friends. All join in
ballet_, HAMLET _included. Enter_ Keepers, _and_ HAMLET _is taken off
to Hanwellhagen_. OPHELIA _rushes in, faints. Curtain_.

ACT III.--_Meadows near Hanwellhagen, in Denmark. Dance of Lunatics,
out for a holiday. To them enter OPHELIA. All the charming music,
delightful, and, this being finished, she chucks herself away into the
stream. Curtain_.

Great call for everybody concerned. And, if the above scheme be
adopted, the Opera would be over before eleven, having begun at nine.
I present this with my compliments to DRURIOLANUS and AMBROISE THOMAS;
and, if he is not "a doubting THOMAS," he will try this plan.

The remainder of the week passed away happily, so I hear, but was not
able to be in my place, as I was at somebody else's place far, far
away. The Opera has been, from the first, a big success. Should like
to hear _Masaniello_ once again. Perhaps that is a treat in store for
all of us. Thus ends the Opera-goer's Diary for 1890, and everybody is
highly satisfied and delighted. Curtain.

* * * * *

MUSICAL PARADOX.

When Autumn comes, our womenfolk prepare
To grind the "old old tune" called "change of air."

* * * * *

[Illustration: MRS. HIGHFLYER'S DANCE, 2 A.M.

"AH! IT'S ALL VERY WELL FOR THE FOOTMEN,--AND IT'S ALL VERY WELL
FOR THE GALS,--BUT IT'S PRECIOUS 'ARD ON US COACHMEN AND THE PORE
MOTHERS!"]

* * * * *

"OUR TURN NOW!"

_OR, MR. BULL AND THE WANDERING MINSTRELS._

_Mr. Bull_. Confound these Wandering Minstrels! Oh, the bore of them!
Only just settled with yon tow-hair'd fellow
Turning the corner, and behold two more of them,
Prepared to grind and tootle, blow and bellow,
Until I tip