his spectacles, and discovered
upon one of the glasses an object indeed. It was a small picture of a
negro minstrel, my boy, cut from the show-bill of some country band,
and pasted upon the spectacles of Kentucky's rising son. It had been
secretly placed there the night before by a Democratic chap from the
Sixth Ward, to give a constitutional turn to the war.

The mind's eye of Conservatism, my boy, looks upon the war through
spectacles so seldom cleaned, that what most offends it, is more than
likely to be what exists only in its own looking-glasses.

Yours, spectacularly,

ORPHEUS C. KERR.

LETTER LXXXII.

NOTING THE UTTER DESTRUCTION, BY AN INEBRIATED JOURNALIST, OF THE
VENERABLE GAMMON'S BENIGNANT SPEECH; INTRODUCING THE NEW GENERAL OF
THE MACKEREL BRIGADE; AND DESCRIBING A CURIOUS PHENOMENON ON DUCK
LAKE.

WASHINGTON, D.C., Jan. 15th, 1863.

The venerable Gammon, has melted sadly home to Mugville since the
removal of the late idolized General of the Mackerel Brigade, and a
worshipping peasantry are exasperated at his unnatural wrongs.

I cannot exactly, see, my boy, how this venerable man is so deeply
injured by the said removal; in fact, it does not appear to me that he
can have any interest in the change whatever; but his appearance of
deep affliction has called scalding tears to all beholding eyes, and
the attached populace crawl in the dust at the subduing aspect of his
inexpressible woe.

It was on the Tuesday evening of this revered and aged patriot's
arrival in adoring Mugville, that he was tumultuously serenaded by the
brass-band of the Young Men's Democratic Christian Association, which
is composed exclusively of constitutional chaps. He was frantically
besought to respond; and then it was that he fell a hapless and
venerable victim to the great, heart-rending mistake of an inebriated
reporter for a reliable morning journal. The beloved old being meant to
make only a few pithy, telling remarks to the enthusiastic band, and
this was, in fact, his veritable

SPEECH.

"Thank you for your compliment. (A voice: '_How are you, old
boots?_' '_We're the boys to give the Rebels comfort!_' and
cheers.) We are here to-night to stand by the Constitution. (A
voice: '_What's old Abe about?_' '_Locking up good Democrats in
Fort Lafayette!_' '_Well, it's our own fault, you know._' '_We
deserve worse treatment!_' and hisses.) We abhor these Rebels as