rganizations; and,
if we construe them maliciously, we deserve, like a parcel of
scandal-mongering old Bohea-mians, to be confined all our lives to
small _coups_ of Phineas T.

It was during my illness that the adoring citizens of Mugville
discovered that the Venerable Gammon had been defeated ten times in the
election for County Clerk in his youth, and frantically instigated an
overflowing ovation therefore to that venerable man. I know not, my
boy, what this aged and shirt-collared picture of perpetual beneficence
had done to be such an idol. I cannot conceive why repeated defeats in
his youth should entitle him to the adoration of a fond populace at the
present exciting period; but the leading citizens presented him with a
silver butter-knife and a serenade, my boy; and he made a benignant
speech to show that he and Providence desired only the applause of
their own consciences.

"My children," says the Venerable Gammon, waving benefactions in his
fat and heartfelt manner, "I accept this butter-knife,--not for my own
merits, but because it symbolizes the only true means of restoring that
Union of which I am a part. This knife," says the Venerable Gammon,
eying the costly gift with oily and benignant satisfaction,--"this
knife teaches us that only fiendish Abolitionism would think of using
the Sword of Radicalism to conquer the erring Confederacy which is
still our sister, when the Butter-knife of Conservatism was to be had."

Then all the leading citizens of Mugville observed joyfully to each
other that the country was redeemed at last, and four-and-twenty
reliable morning journals published six columns each about the
triumphant progress of the Venerable Gammon in the affections of the
people.

Among those present at this sublime ovation was an aged chap selling
apples, who immediately burst into tears when the voice of the
venerable man fell upon his ears. On being asked to explain his
emotions, he cast his dim eyes upward toward an American flag which was
being used by a merchant near by to advertise some patent pills, and
says he, brokenly:

"When I hear that woice, and see that flag, all my manhood crumbles
into scalding tears."

He was an apple-seller of fine feelings, and had once served as a
deserter in the Army of the Potomac.

Pathetic little incidents like these, my boy, humble though they may
be, are pregnant with a deep and touching meaning, of which I have not
the remotest conception.

There i