rses set off
at a brisk trot. The moon, ringed by a halo, shone like an opal in the
milk-white sky. A train of cloud rose out of the sea and stretched away
by degrees in spiral form, like a trail of smoke. The somewhat stormy
sea drowned all other sounds with its roar. Never, I think, did a
heavier sadness weigh upon two spirits.
'I felt something wet upon my cold cheek, and turning to Francesca to
see if she noticed that I was crying, I met her eyes--they were full of
tears. And so we sat, side by side, with mute, convulsively closed lips,
clasping one another's hand, the tears rolling silently drop by drop
over our cheeks, both knowing that they were for him.
'As we neared Schifanoja I dried my eyes, and she did the same, each
striving to hide her own weakness.
'He was standing in the hall with Delfina and Muriella looking out for
us. Why did I feel a sudden vague distrust of him, as if some instinct
warned me of hidden danger? What troubles are in store for me in the
future? Shall I be able to escape from the passion that attracts and
blinds me?
'And yet, those few tears have given me much relief! I feel less broken,
less scorched, more self-confident; and it affords me an indescribable
fond pleasure to retrace again, for myself alone, that last drive, while
Delfina sleeps, made happy by the storm of kisses I rained upon her
face, and while the moon that so lately saw me weep smiles sadly through
the window panes.
'_October 8th._--Did I sleep last night--did I wake? I could not say.
Through my brain, like thick dark shadows, flitted terrifying thoughts,
insupportable images of torment; and my heart gave sudden throbs and
bounds, and I would find myself staring wide-eyed into the darkness, not
knowing whether I had just awakened from a dream or whether I had never
been asleep at all. And this state of semi-consciousness--infinitely
more unbearable than real sleeplessness--continued throughout the night.
'Nevertheless, when I heard my little girl's morning call, I did not
answer, but pretended to be sound asleep, so that I need not rise, so
that I might remain a few minutes longer in bed and thus retard for a
while the inexorable certainty of the realities of life. The torments of
thought and imagination seemed to me less cruel than those, so
impossible to foresee, which awaited me in these last two days.
'A little while later, Delfina came in on tip-toe, holding her breath.
She looked at me and then whi
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