considered a maniac. Moreover, I
knew that I was not a maniac, for I possessed all my reasoning powers,
only the horror was upon me--the screaming horror! But how were
indifferent people to distinguish between madness and this screaming
horror? So I thought and reasoned; and at last I determined not to go
amongst my fellow men, whatever the result might be. I went to the mouth
of the dingle, and there, placing myself on my knees, I again said the
Lord's Prayer; but it was of no use; praying seemed to have no effect
over the horror; the unutterable fear appeared rather to increase than
diminish; and I again uttered wild cries, so loud that I was apprehensive
they would be heard by some chance passenger on the neighbouring road; I
therefore went deeper into the dingle; I sat down with my back against a
thorn bush; the thorns entered my flesh, and when I felt them, I pressed
harder against the bush; I thought the pain of the flesh might in some
degree counteract the mental agony; presently I felt them no longer; the
power of the mental horror was so great that it was impossible, with that
upon me, to feel any pain from the thorns. I continued in this posture a
long time, undergoing what I cannot describe, and would not attempt if I
were able. Several times I was on the point of starting up and rushing
anywhere; but I restrained myself, for I knew I could not escape from
myself, so why should I not remain in the dingle? So I thought and said
to myself, for my reasoning powers were still uninjured. At last it
appeared to me that the horror was not so strong, not quite so strong
upon me. Was it possible that it was relaxing its grasp, releasing its
prey? O what a mercy! but it could not be--and yet I looked up to
heaven, and clasped my hands, and said 'Our Father.' I said no more; I
was too agitated; and now I was almost sure that the horror had done its
worst.
"After a little time I arose, and staggered down yet farther into the
dingle. I again found my little horse on the same spot as before, I put
my hand to his mouth; he licked my hand. I flung myself down by him and
put my arms round his neck, the creature whinnied, and appeared to
sympathise with me; what a comfort to have any one, even a dumb brute, to
sympathise with me at such a moment! I clung to my little horse, as if
for safety and protection. I laid my head on his neck, and felt almost
calm; presently the fear returned, but not so wild as before; i
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