and it is astonishing with what readiness he will admit
its justice. He call do anything he wants to, you explain to him,
except bother other people. And, of course, the corollary follows that
every one else can do whatever he pleases except to bother the child.
[Sidenote: Rights of Others]
This clear and simple doctrine can be driven home with amazing force,
if you strictly respect the child's right as you require him to
respect yours. You should neither allow any encroachments upon your
own proper privileges, except so far as you explain that this is only
a loving permission on your part, and not to be assumed as a precedent
or to be demanded as a right; nor should you yourself encroach upon
his privileges.
If you do not expect him to interrupt you, you must not interrupt him.
If you expect him to let you alone when you are busy, you must let
hint alone when he is busy, that is, when he is hard at work playing.
If you must call him away from his playing, give him warning, so that
he may have time to put his small affairs in order before obeying your
command. The more carefully you do this the more willing will be his
response on the infrequent occasions when you must demand immediate
attention. In some such fashion you teach the child to respect the
rights of others by scrupulously respecting those rights to which he
is most alive, namely, his own. The next step is to require him with
you to think out the rights of others, and both of you together should
shape your conduct so as to leave these rights unfringed.
[Sidenote: The Child's Share in Ruling]
As soon as the young child's will has fully taken possession of his
own organism he will inevitably try to rule yours. The establishment
of the law of which I have just spoken will go far toward regulating
this new-born desire. But still he must be allowed in some degree to
rule others, because power to rule others is likely to be at some time
during his life of great importance to him. To thwart him absolutely
in this respect, never yielding yourself to his imperious demands,
is alike impossible and undesirable. His will must not be shut up
to himself and to the things that he can make himself do. In various
ways, with due consideration for other people's feelings, with
courtesy, with modesty, he may well be encouraged to do his share of
ruling. And while, of course, he will not begin his ruling in such
restrained and thoughtful fashion as is implied by these l
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