wn good deeds to the child, remember
the motive, and reveal them only (a) when he cannot perceive them
of himself, (b) when he needs to perceive them in order that his own
conduct may be influenced by them, and (c) at the time when he is most
likely to appreciate them. This latter requirement precludes you from
announcing your own righteousness when he is naughty, and compels you,
of course, to go directly against your native impulse, which is to
mention your deeds of sacrifice and kindness only when you are angry
and mean to reproach him with them. When you tell him how devoted you
have been at some moment when you are both thoroughly angry, he is in
danger of either denying or hating your devotion; but when you refer
to it tenderly, and, as your heart will then prompt you, modestly, at
some loving moment, he will give it recognition, and be moved to love
goodness more devotedly because you embody it.

[Sidenote: Law-Making Habit]

Another important rule is this: Do not make too many rules. Some women
are like legislatures in perpetual session. The child who is confused
and tantalized by the constant succession of new laws learns presently
to disregard them, and to regulate his life according to certain
deductions of his own--sometimes surprisingly wise and politic
deductions. The way to re yourself of this law-making habit is to stop
thinking of every little misdeed as the beginning of a great wrong. It
is very likely an accident and a combination of circumstances such as
may not happen again. To treat misdemeanors which are not habitual nor
characteristic as evanescent is the best way to make them evanescent.
They should not be allowed to enter too deeply into your consciousness
or into that of your child.

[Sidenote: Live with Your Children]

In order to be able to discriminate between accidental wrong-doing,
and that which is the first symptom of wrong-thinking, you must be
in close touch with your children. This brings us to Froebel's great
motto, "Come, let us live with our children!" This means that you are
not merely to talk with your child, to hear from his lips what he is
doing, but to live so closely with him, that in most cases you know
what he is doing without any need of his telling you. When, however,
he does tell you something which happened in the school play-ground
or otherwise out of the range of your knowledge, be careful not to
moralize over it. Make yourself as agreeable a secret-keeper as his