t is quite possible that this
is really what the seal wants, because to become extinct and to occupy a
place of honour beside the dodo is a distinction much coveted amongst
the lower animals. The dodo was a squabby, ugly, dumpy, not to say
fat-headed, bird when it lived; now it is a hero of romance. Possibly
this is what the seal is aiming at; but personally I should prefer the
extinction of the punster.

[Illustration: A SHAVE.]

The punster is a low person, who refers to the awkwardness of the seal's
gait by speaking of his not having his seal-legs, although a mariner or
a sealubber, as he might express it. If you reply that, on the contrary,
the seal's legs, such as they are, are very characteristic, he takes
refuge in the atrocious admission, delivered with a French accent, that
they are certainly very sealy legs. When he speaks of the messages of
the English Government, in the matter of seal-catching in the Behring
Sea, he calls it whitewashing the sealing, and explains that the
"Behrings of this here observation lies in the application on it." I
once even heard a punster remark that the Russian and American officials
had got rather out of their Behrings, through an excess of seal on
behalf of their Governments; but he was a very sad specimen, in a very
advanced stage, and he is dead now. I don't say that that remark sealed
his fate, but I believe there are people who would say even that, with
half a chance.

[Illustration: TOBY--BEHIND.]

Another class of frivoller gets his opportunity because it is customary
to give various species of seals--divers species, one might
say--inappropriate names. He tells you that if you look for sea-lions
and sea-leopards, you will not see lions, nor even see leopards, but
seal-lions and seal-leopards, which are very different. These are called
lions and leopards because they look less like lions and leopards than
anything else in the world; just as the harp seal is so called because
he has a broad mark on his back, which doesn't look like a harp. Look at
Toby, the Patagonian sea-lion here, who has a large pond and premises to
himself. I have the greatest possible respect and esteem for Toby, but I
shouldn't mistake him for a lion, in any circumstances. With every wish
to spare his feelings, one can only compare him to a very big slug in an
overcoat, who has had the misfortune to fall into the water. Even his
moustache isn't lion-like. Indeed, if he would only have a white cloth