, AIN'D IT?"]

The sea-lion, as I have said, is not like a lion; the sea-leopard is not
like a leopard; but the sea-elephant, which is another sort of seal, and
a large one, may possibly be considered sufficiently like an elephant to
have been evolved, in the centuries, from an elephant who has had the
ill-luck to fall into the sea. He hasn't much of a trunk left, but he
often finds himself in seas of a coldness enough to nip off any ordinary
trunk; but his legs and feet are not elephantine.

[Illustration: "AND THE NEXT ARTICLE?"]

What the previous adventures of the sea-lion may have been in the matter
of evolution, I am at a loss to guess, unless there is anything in the
slug theory; but if he keep steadily on, and cultivate his moustache and
his stomach with proper assiduity, I have no doubt of his one day
turning up at a seaside resort and carrying on life in future as a
fierce old German out for a bathe. Or the Cape sea-lion, if only he
continue his obsequious smile and his habit of planting his
fore-flappers on the ledge before him as he rises from the water, may
some day, in his posterity, be promoted to a place behind the counter of
a respectable drapery warehouse, there to sell the skins his relatives
grow.

But after all, any phocine ambition, either for extinction or higher
evolution, may be an empty thing; because the seal is very comfortable
as he is. Consider a few of his advantages. He has a very fine fur
overcoat, with an admirable lining of fat, which, as well as being warm,
permits any amount of harmless falling and tumbling about, such as is
suitable to and inevitable with the seal's want of shape. He can enjoy
the sound of bagpipes, which is a privilege accorded to few. Further, he
can shut his ears when he has had enough, which is a faculty man may
envy him. His wife, too, always has a first-rate sealskin jacket, made
in one piece, and he hasn't to pay for it. He can always run down to the
seaside when so disposed, although the run is a waddle and a flounder;
and if he has no tail to speak of--well, he can't have it frozen off.
All these things are better than the empty honour of extinction; better
than evolution into bathers who would be drownable, and translation into
unaccustomed situations--with the peril of a week's notice. Wherefore
let the seal perpetuate his race--his obstacle race, as one might say,
seeing him flounder and flop.

[Illustration]

_The Major's Commission._

BY