studies by the Committee of the School Board. Now then,
please, take your places.

[The Pupils _seize the flags hanging to the walls, and dance
merrily. At the conclusion of the exercise they replace the
flags, and resume their customary places._

_First Pupil._ If you please, can you tell us anything about the
Union-Jack?

_Teacher._ As I have explained on many occasions, when you have been
good and obliging enough to put the same question to me, I am
delighted to have the opportunity. You must know that the Union-Jack
represents the greatest nation in the world. This nation is our own
beloved country, and it is gratifying to know that there are no people
so blessed as our own. The Union-Jack flies in every quarter of the
globe, and where it is seen, slavery becomes impossible, and tyranny a
thing of the past. To be an Englishman is to be the noblest creature
on the earth. One Englishman is worth twenty specimens of other
nationalities; he is more conscientious, more clever, more beautiful
than any other living man, and it is a good thing for the world that
he exists. _(Looking at watch._) And now, as we have rather exceeded
our usual time for study, we will depart after the customary ceremony.

[_The_ Pupils _then sing the National Anthem, and the School
dismisses itself with three cheers for_ HER MAJESTY.
_Curtain._

* * * * *

[Illustration: "ON NE 'PATINE' PAS AVEC L'AMOUR."
(_With Apologies to the Shade of Alfred de Musset._)]

* * * * *

BUTTERS BUTTERED.

SIR,--I have been deeply thrilled by the suggestion for curing the
Agricultural depression which Messrs. MACDOUGALL, of Mark Lane, have
made. I am not myself an Agriculturist; still, in--or rather near--the
suburban villa in which I reside, I have an old cow, and a donkey on
which my children ride. Directly I heard that the way to keep animals
warm and comfortable in Winter was to smear them all over with oil,
thus saving much of the cost of feeding them, I tried the plan on the
aged cow. Perhaps the oil I used was not sufficiently pure. At all
events the animal, which had never been known before to do more than
proceed at a leisurely walk, rushed at frantic speed into the garden,
and tossed my wife's mother into a cucumber-frame. She has now gone
home. Undeterred by the comparative failure of this attempt, I smeared
our donkey with a pint of the best cast