ter forty. And this reply is
distinctly smart.

_Q._ What is "smartness"?

_A._ The art of appearing to belong to a good set.

_Q._ What is a good set?--_A._ A clique that prefers modes to
morality, _chic_ to comfort, and frivolity to family ties.

_Q._ What is _chic_?--_A._ An indefinable something, implying "go,"
"fast and loose style," "slap-dash."

_Q._ What is a dinner-party?

_A._ A large subject, that cannot be disposed of in a paragraph.

_Q._ What is a subject?--_A._ Something distinct from Royalty.

_Q._ Can one be distinct after dinner?--_A._ Yes,--with difficulty.

_Q._ What is a difficulty?

_A._ When of a pecuniary character--the time following the using up of
the pecuniary resources of your friends.

_Q._ What is a friend?

_A._ A man who dines with you--a past enemy or a future foe.

_Q._ What is bad champagne?--_A._ A fruity effervescing beverage
costing about thirty shillings the dozen.

_Q._ What is good?--_A._ Cannot reply until I have received samples.

_Q._ How can an inexperienced diner discover that he has taken bad
champagne?

_A._ By the condition of his head on the following morning.

_Q._ What is a head?--_A._ A necessary alternative to money.

_Q._ What is money?

_A._ The only satisfactory representative of credit.

_Q._ What are representatives?

_A._ The mouthpieces of voters mustered in the House of Commons.

_Q._ What is mustard?

_A._ The chief ingredient of breakfast, after a night of it with your
friends, when your appetite requires coaxing.

_Q._ What is the future?--_A._ To-morrow, and the coming centuries.

_Q._ And the past?--_A._ Two minutes ago, and all that went before.

_Q._ And the present?--_A._ The right time for bringing the current
instalment of the Infant's Guide to a prompt conclusion.

* * * * *

"ENCORE, ALADDIN!"

[Illustration: Notes for the _Storey_ of _Aladdin_, supplied
by M. Jacobi.]

[Illustration: Marie-Aladdin and the Electric Light Pollini.]

ALADDIN at the Alhambra is a genuine "Ballet Extravaganza," the story
being told in pantomimic action, illustrated by M. JACOBI'S
sympathetic music. _Aladdin_ was an excellent subject for Mr. JOHN
HOLLINGSHEAD to take, though I venture to think that our old friend
_Blue Beard_ would be a still better one. The only fault I find with
_Aladdin_ is that it is too soon over. It certainly will take rank
among the most superb and the most drama