While still of tender years,
Of murder strange, of Haunted Grange,
And gory Buccaneers!
But, at the most exciting point,
Abruptly ceased the text,--
What rage was mine to meet the line,
_"Continued in our next"!_

Sometimes, indeed, misfortune sharp
The Journal would attend--
The funds would fail, and so the tale
Remains without an end.
Now, when I take a serial up,
I cry, in accents vexed,--
"I've read enough--why _is_ the stuff
_'Continued in our next'?"_

Ah well, the things we valued once
Enliven us no more!
(Remarks like these, if morals please,
I've furnished by the score.)
And should these verses but result
In making you perplexed,
You'll learn with glee _they_ will not be
_"Continued in our next"!_

* * * * *

"Oh, these Christmas Bills!" cried PATERFAMILIAS. "That's what I do,"
rejoined IMPEY QUNIOUS. "My sentiments and practice precisely--'Owe
these Christmas Bills'--and many others."

* * * * *

BUILDING THE SNOW MAN.

BILLY and JOHNNIE were two little boys,
Who wearied of lessons, and tired of their toys.
Says BILLY, "I've hit on an excellent plan;
Let's go out in the cold, JOHN, and build a Snow Man!"

_Johnnie_ (_blowing his fingers_). Oh, I say, BILLY, isn't it cold,
either?

_Billy_ (_stamping_). _Is_ it, JOHNNIE? I haven't noticed it myself.

_Johnnie._ Oh, you're as hard as nails, _you_ are. _My_ fingers are
quite numb.

_Billy._ Then work away briskly. _That'll_ warm 'em! Snow's a bit less
binding than I expected to find it. Result of the severe frost, I
suppose. But peg away, and we shall podge it into shape yet, JOHNNIE.

_Johnnie._ Ye-e-e-s! (_Shivers_). But what--er--er--what pattern, or
plan, or model, have we--that--is--er--have _you_--er--decided on,
BILLY?

_Billy_ (_winking_). Well, that's as it happens, JOHNNIE! Remember the
one we built in '86--eh?

_Johnnie_ (_shuddering_). I should think I did. Don't mean to say
we're to go on _those_ lines again, BILLY?

_Billy._ I mean to _say_ nothing of the kind. Many things have
happened since then, JOHNNIE. For one thing, we've had heaps of
advice.

_Johnnie._ Hang it, yes! And where are the advisers? Standing aloof
and criticising our work--_in advance_. Where's that bold, blusterous,
bumptious Behemoth, BILL STEAD? Knew all about building Snow Men, _he_
did; had a private monopo