husband and father, his worth to
literature or art as a thinker or maker,--these values are imprinted
upon his personality, howbeit with almost imperceptible lines.

If a man would present a pleasing personality as his claim for
recognition in society, he must not neglect his mental attitude, his
appearance, his manners, or his speech. They are all true expressions
of his real self, and they, together with his deeds, are all that his
fellow men have by which to appraise his real worth.

Character is the foundation of all true courtesy, for manners are but
minor morals, as many a writer has shown. It is not the part of a book
on etiquette to tell how to keep out of prison, or to explain that one
should be honorable and should do no murder. No book or person,
however, can inculcate etiquette without showing that the roots of all
true courtesy lie deep in the spirit of unselfish consideration for
others. To master this spirit until it becomes one's own is the best
fitting one can have for social achievement. Such consideration is the
touchstone by which all social customs are tried, to see whether they
be worthy of perpetuation or not. It is the sure test of correct
conduct under all circumstances, and can be so utilized in case of
doubt.

A veneer of virtue long passes as currency in no society. It is
necessary to have character in order to be respected. As etiquette is
founded upon certain simple virtues, it is necessary, at least, to
affect the semblance of them. To be long effective they must be
sincere, as a little experience shows.

Among the minor moral virtues which in social life are of major
importance are those of self-control, sincerity, and unselfishness.

There is no place for anger in social life. To give expression among a
group of people to any strong feeling, no matter how justified it may
be, is not courteous, because you may be inadvertently treading upon
the beliefs or prejudices of some of your hearers. There are times
when debate and the taking of sides on questions of common interest
are in order, but that is not usually in the mixed society of men and
women, who are supposedly dropping, for a time, the burdens of life
for the sake of enjoyment and recreation.

Self-control is necessary not only in the constant curbing of anger
and the more violent emotions, but in pushing into the background
one's personal desires in order that one may do one's social duty. A
bridesmaid may have assumed the