that you carry away the
inspiration of meeting others and the thoughts that they have given
you, and garner from those help and guidance in your life, or the most
elaborate of toilets, the most perfect of manners, and the most
ceremonious of customs are of little worth.

The tool, however, becomes invaluable when the master desires to
create. Therefore, if we wish to gain from social life the enjoyment
and happiness and help which it should yield, we should become
familiar with the practice of the best forms of etiquette, so that we
shall have skill and aptitude in their application.

The rewards of etiquette are, therefore, both spiritual and material.
That fine poise of soul which restrains all selfish and unlovely
tendencies, that clear insight which sees the individual as but a
single unit in the composite of the human race, that high aspiration
which culls only the best from the mingled elements of life,--all
these come from a true and sincere adherence to the spirit of
courteous observances, and each of these is its own reward.

On the other hand, human hearts open only to gentle influences, and
all that it is in the power of human beings to bestow upon one another
comes most readily and most lavishly to those who outrage no social
instinct. To be highly and sincerely honored socially means to be well
loved, and that must mean to be lovable. Wealth and family position
are matters of chance as far as the individual is concerned, but good
breeding is a matter of personal desire and effort. It makes for power
and influence, and often literally commands the wealth and position
which the accident of birth has refused. It is the necessary colleague
of intellectual ability in winning the farthest heights of success,
and makes the plains of mediocre attainment habitable and pleasant.

CHAPTER II

PERSONALITY

THE social world is a world of personalities. Each individual has a
value and importance according to the sum total of his
characteristics, physical, mental, and moral. Other and more external
facts enter into his social position, but in the circle of his friends
and acquaintances, in whatever grade of society he may move, his place
is determined by his personality. Personality alone is the final test
of a man's worth to society.

A man's worth to the business world as a doer, maker, or as any other
executive, his worth to the state as an incorruptible official, his
worth to his family as a devoted