be a foreigner, but should never be tendered to a
countryman, nor often to even the most grateful wrestler with the
English language. It confuses any one, and the only polite way is to
wait quietly until the speaker collects himself and finds his words.

Do not contend any point. Among intelligent people questions may be
pleasantly and earnestly debated, arguments weighed and tested, and
yet the conversation be absolutely courteous, although conviction be
deep on both sides. The impossibility, among untrained people, of
debate without great emotion is what retards the progress of the
intellectual life in many circles.

One should never answer questions in general company that have been
put to another.

One should not note the points of discrepancy in the remarks of
another, or the points of divergence in opinion. In society the
subjects of conversation are subordinated to the human interest of the
gathering, and points of harmony and agreement should be emphasized,
leaving all others unnoted. One does not need to conceal his opinions,
but he should not arrogantly or dogmatically publish them. Not
opinions but individuals are of greater interest at that time, and the
battle of ideas should be fought in another arena.

This is the only safe rule to follow in mixed companies, or with
people imperfectly trained socially. With highly intelligent people
of congenial tastes, people who have ideas and convictions of great
worth, and who are controlled enough to express them without undue or
foolish emotion, the battle of ideas is fought most effectively and
most to the benefit of society, in the drawing-room of that host and
hostess whose own talents make them able to draw talent about them.

Here all the rules of polite society may be observed, and yet the
inner convictions, whether political, religious, or moral, of the
circle, may find welcome expression and fair hearing. The growth of
ideas and the progress of ideals in such a society is rapid and along
the right lines.

Never try to have the last word, but always refrain from saying it.

Do not enter into tete-a-tete conversation in the presence of others,
or refer to any topic of conversation which is not of common interest
and commonly known. Mysterious allusions or assumed understandings
with one or two members of a group are insults to the others.

Inquiries into private affairs should never be made, but those on the
subjects of age and income are especially o