ould you enlist with us, I could
find you an occupation not only agreeable, but one in which your talents
would have free scope. I would introduce you in the various grand houses
here in England, to which I have myself admission, as a surprising young
gentleman of infinite learning, who by dint of study has discovered that
the Roman is the only true faith. I tell you confidently that our popish
females would make a saint, nay a God of you; they are fools enough for
anything. There is one person in particular with whom I should wish to
make you acquainted, in the hope that you would be able to help me to
perform good service to the holy see. He is a gouty old fellow, of some
learning, residing in an old hall, near the great western sea-port, and
is one of the very few amongst the English Catholics possessing a grain
of sense. I think you could help us to govern him, for he is not
unfrequently disposed to be restive, asks us strange
questions--occasionally threatens us with his crutch; and behaves so that
we are often afraid that we shall lose him, or, rather, his property,
which he has bequeathed to us, and which is enormous. I am sure that you
could help us to deal with him; sometimes with your humour, sometimes
with your learning, and perhaps occasionally with your fists.
"And in what manner would you provide for my companion?" said I.
"We would place her at once," said the man in black, "in the house of two
highly respectable Catholic ladies in this neighbourhood, where she would
be treated with every care and consideration till her conversion should
be accomplished in a regular manner; we would then remove her to a female
monastic establishment, where, after undergoing a year's probation,
during which time she would be instructed in every elegant
accomplishment, she should take the veil. Her advancement would speedily
follow, for, with such a face and figure, she would make a capital lady
abbess, especially in Italy, to which country she would probably be sent;
ladies of her hair and complexion--to say nothing of her height--being a
curiosity in the south. With a little care and management she could soon
obtain a vast reputation for sanctity; and who knows but after her death
she might become a glorified saint--he! he! Sister Maria Theresa, for
that is the name I propose you should bear. Holy Mother Maria
Theresa--glorified and celestial saint, I have the honour of drinking to
your health," and the man in
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