y can _do_ it! And
there's poor Mrs. 'OGG--it's real butter and a real loaf she's
cutting, and the poor baby, too!... Here's the actual casts taken
after they were murdered. Oh, and there's Mrs. PEARCEY wheeling
the perambulator--it's the _very_ perambulator! No, not the very
one--they've got _that_ at the other place, and the piece of toffee
the baby sucked. Have they really! Oh, we _must_ try and go there,
too, before the children's holidays are over. And this is all? Well,
well, everything very nice, I _will_ say. But a pity they couldn't get
the _real_ perambulator!

* * * * *

BURNS VERSUS BURNS.

A SONG OF THE GREAT SCOTCH STRIKE. TUNE--"_PUSH ABOUT THE JORUM!_"

[Illustration]

"Oh, let us not like snarling tykes,
In wrangling be divided;
Till slap comes in an uncoo loon
And with a rung decide it.
Be Britain still to Britain true,
Among oursels united;
For never but by British hands
Maun British wrongs be righted!"

ROBERT BURNS's "_Dumfries Volunteers_."

_Shade of_ BURNS, _loquitur_:--

O, rantin' roarin' JOHNNY BURNS,
My namesake--in a fashion,
You do my Scots the warst o' turns
Sae stirrin' up their passion.
Whence come ye, JOHNNY? Frae the Docks?
Or frae the County Council?
Sure Scots can do their ain hard knocks;
We take your brag and bounce ill!
Fal de ral, &c.

Does Cockneydom invasion threat?
Then let the louns beware, Sir!
Scotland, they'll find, is Scotland yet,
And for hersel' can fare, Sir.
The Thames shall run to join the Tweed,
Criffel adorn Thames valley,
'Ere wanton wrath and vulgar greed
On Scottish ground shall rally.
Fal de ral, &c.

A man's a man for a' that, JOHN,
And ane's as good as tither;
But that ship's crew is fated, JOHN,
That mutinies in bad weather.
Nae flouts to "honest industry"
Shall fa' frae the Exciseman;
But ane who blaws up strife like this,
Wisdom deems not a wise man.
Fal de ral, &c.

Scot business may be out o' tune,
True harmony may fail in't,
But deil a cockney tinkler loon
We need to rant and rail in't.
Our fathers on occasion fought,
And so can we, if needed;
But windy words with frenzy fraught
Sound Scots should pass unheeded.
Fal de ral, &c.

Let toilers not, like snarling tykes,
In wrangling be divided,
Till foreign Trade, w