n I want to let off steam I have no
alternative
but to say, "Lalabalele molola lililah kallalale poo!"

Calynx: But what is your grievance?

Tarara: This--by our Constitution we are governed by a Despot
who,
although in theory absolute--is, in practice, nothing of
the
kind--being watched day and night by two Wise Men whose
duty
it is, on his very first lapse from political or social
propriety, to denounce him to me, the Public Exploder,
and
it then becomes my duty to blow up His Majesty with
dynamite--allow me. (Presenting a cracker which Calynx
pulls.) Thank you--and, as some compensation to my
wounded
feelings, I reign in his stead.

Calynx: Yes. After many unhappy experiments in the direction of
an
ideal Republic, it was found that what may be described
as a
Despotism tempered by Dynamite provides, on the whole,
the
most satisfactory description of ruler--an autocrat who
dares not abuse his autocratic power.

Tarara: That's the theory--but in practice, how does it act?
Now,
do you ever happen to see the Palace Peeper? (producing
a
"Society" paper).

Calynx: Never even heard of the journal.

Tarara: I'm not surprised, because His Majesty's agents always
buy
up the whole edition; but I have an aunt in the
publishing
department, and she has supplied me with a copy. Well,
it
actually teems with circumstantially convincing details
of
the King's abominable immoralities! If this high-class
journal may be believed, His Majesty is one of the most
Heliogabalian profligates that ever disgraced an
autocratic
throne! And do these Wise Men denounce him to me? Not
a
bit of it! They wink at his immoralities! Under the
cir-
cumstances I really think I am justified in exclaiming
"Lalabelele molola lililah kalabalale poo!" (All horri-
fied.) I don't care--the occasion demands it. (Exit
Tarara)

(March. Enter Guard, escorting Scaphio and Phantis.)

CHORUS.

O make way for the Wise Men!
They are the prizemen--
Double-first in the world's univer