lica! Ulahlica!

SOLO -- Zara.

(Presenting Sir Bailey Barre, Q.C., M.P.)

A complicated gentleman allow to present,
Of all the arts and faculties the terse embodiment,
He's a great arithmetician who can demonstrate with ease
That two and two are three or five or anything you please;
An eminent Logician who can make it clear to you
That black is white--when looked at from the proper point
of
view;
A marvelous Philologist who'll undertake to show
That "yes" is but another and a neater form of "no."

Sir Bailey: Yes--yes--yes--
"Yes" is but another and a neater form of "no."
All preconceived ideas on any subject I can scout,
And demonstrate beyond all possibility of doubt,
That whether you're an honest man or whether you're a thief
Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

Chorus: Yes--yes--yes
That whether your'e an honest man, etc.
Ulahlica! Ulahlica! Ulahlica!

Zara: (Presenting Lord Dramaleigh and County Councillor)
What these may be, Utopians all,
Perhaps you'll hardly guess--
They're types of England's physical
And moral cleanliness.
This is a Lord High Chamberlain,
Of purity the gauge--
He'll cleanse our court from moral stain
And purify our Stage.

Lord D.: Yes--yes--yes
Court reputations I revise,
And presentations scrutinize,
New plays I read with jealous eyes,
And purify the Stage.

Chorus: Court reputations, etc.

Zara: This County Councillor acclaim,
Great Britain's latest toy--
On anything you like to name
His talents he'll employ--

All streets and squares he'll purify
Within your city walls,
And keep meanwhile a modest eye
On wicked music halls.

C.C.: Yes--yes--yes
In towns I make improvements great,
Which go to swell the County Rate--
I dwelling-houses sanitate,