Council--perhaps the Lord Chamberlain will kindly put us
in
the way of doing the thing properly, and with due regard
to
the solemnity of the occasion.

Lord D.: Certainly--nothing simpler. Kindly bring your chairs
forward--His Majesty will, of course, preside.

(They range their chairs across stage like Christy Minstrels. King
sits center, Lord Dramaleigh on his left, Mr. Goldbury on his
right,
Captain Corcoran left of Lord Dramaleigh, Captain
Fitzbattleaxe right of
Mr. Goldbury, Mr. Blushington extreme right, Sir Bailey Barre
extreme
left.)

King: Like this?

Lord D.: Like this.

King: We take your word for it that this is all right. You are
not making fun of us? This is in accordance with the
prac-
tice at the Court of St. James's?

Lord D.: Well, it is in accordance with the practice at the Court
of
St. James's Hall.

King: Oh! it seems odd, but never mind.

SONG -- King.

Society has quite forsaken all her wicked courses.
Which empties our police courts, and abolishes divorces.

Chorus: Divorce is nearly obsolete in England.

King: No tolerance we show to undeserving rank and splendour;
For the higher his position is, the greater the offender.

Chorus: That's maxim that is prevalent in England.

King: No peeress at our drawing-room before the Presence passes
Who wouldn't be accepted by the lower middle-classes.
Each shady dame, whatever be her rank, is bowed out
neatly.

Chorus: In short, this happy country has been Anglicized
completely
Is really is surprising
What a thorough Anglicizing
We have brought about--Utopia's quite another land;
In her enterprising movements,
She is England--with improvements,
Which we dutifully offer to our mother-land!

King: Our city we have beautified--we've done it willy-nilly--
And all that isn't Belgrave Square is Strand and
Piccadilly.

Chorus: We haven't any slummeries in England!

King: The chamberlain our native stage has purged beyond a
ques-
tion.
Of "risky" situation and indelicate suggestion;
No piece is tolerated if it's costumed indisc