a while I endured submissively from native timidity and
retirement, until my bosom boiled over at the sense of "_Civis Romanus
sum_," and, descending to the barrier, I harangued the wicket-keeper
with great length and fervid eloquence, informing him that I was
graduate of high-class Native University after passing most tedious and
difficult exams with fugitive colours and that it was injurious and
deleterious to my "_mens sana in corpore sano_" to remain on legs for
some hours beholding what I practically found to be invisible.

But, though he turned an indulgent ear to my quandary, he professed his
inability to help me over my "_pons asinorum_," until I ventured to play
the ticklish card and inform him that I was a distinguished
representative of Hon'ble _Punch_, who was paternally anxious for me to
be awarded a seat on the lap of luxury.

Then he unbended, and admitted me to the body of the auditorium, where I
was conducted to a coign of vantage in near proximity to members of the
fair sex and galaxy of beauty.

Thus, by dint of nude gumption, I was in the bed of clover and seventh
heaven, and more so when, on inquiry from a bystander, I understood that
the performance was taken from Mr TERRISS'S Adelphi Theatre, which I had
heard was conspicuous for excellence in fierce combats, blood-curdling
duels, and scenes in court. And I narrated to him how I too, when a
callow and unfledged hobbardyhoy, had engaged in theatrical
entertainments, and played such parts in native dramas as heroic
giant-killers and tiger slayers, in which I was an "_au fait_" and
"_facile princeps_," also in select scenes from SHAKSPEARE'S play of
_Macbeth_ in English and being correctly attired as a Scotch.

But presently I discovered that the play was quite another sort of
Adelphi, being a jocose comedy by a notorious ancient author of the name
of TERENCE, and written entirely in Latin, which a contiguous damsel
expressed a fear lest she should find it incomprehensible and obscure. I
hastened to reassure her by explaining that, having been turned out as a
certificated B.A. by Indian College, I had acquired perfect familiarity
and nodding acquaintance with the early Roman and Latin tongues, and
offering my services as interpreter of "_quicquid agunt homines_," and
the entire "_farrago libelli_," which rendered her red as a turkeycock
with delight and gratitude. When the performance commenced with a scenic
representation of the Roman Acropolis,