has become attractive: I've got a simpleton.
When I have a headache, her eyes fill with tender concern, and she
hovers about me and pesters me with pillows: when I am cross with her,
she is afraid I am ill. When I die, and leave her a lot of money,
she will howl for months, and say I don't want his money: 'I
waw-waw-waw-waw-want my Uncle Philip, to love me, and scold me.' One
day she told me, with a sigh, I hadn't lectured her for a month. 'I am
afraid I have offended you,' says she, 'or else worn you out, dear.'
When I am well, give me a simpleton, to make me laugh. When I am
ill, give me a simpleton to soothe me with her innocent tenderness. A
simpleton shall wipe the dews of death, and close my eyes: and when I
cross the river of death, let me be met by a band of the heavenly host,
who were all simpletons here on earth, and too good for such a hole, so
now they are in heaven, and their garments always white--because there
are no laundresses there."

Arrived at this point, the Anglo-Saxon race will retire, grinning, to
fresh pastures, and leave this champion of "a Simpleton," to thunder
paradoxes in a desert.

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