f in ridicule of the common fop, takes care
to decorate his menials in the most gorgeous liveries.

"The stiffness and formality of his appearance is partly occasioned by
the braces which he very judiciously purchased of Martin Van Butchell,
and partly by the pride of wealth and rank.

"There is a pensiveness in his aspect, which would induce any one to
imagine Sir Edward to be a man of feeling; but those who have depended
upon outward appearances alone, have found themselves miserably
deceived; for as hypocrisy assumes a look of sanctity, so your
philosophic coxcomb's apparent melancholy serves only as a mask to cover
his stupidity.

"Sir Edward is amorously inclined; but he consults his reason, or
pretends to do so, and by that means renders his pleasures subservient
to his health. It cannot be denied he sometimes manifests contortions of
aspect not exactly in unison with happiness; but his feelings are ever
selfish, and his apparent pain is occasioned by the nausea of a debauch,
or perhaps by the pressure of a new pair of boots. If you are in
distress, Sir Edward hears your tale with the most stoical indifference,
and he contemplates your happiness with an equal degree of apathy--a
sort of Epictetus, who can witness the miseries of a brother without
agony or sympathy, and mark the elevation of a friend without one
sentiment of congratulation: wrapt up in self, he banishes all feeling
for others.

~~361~~~ "This philosopher has a great number of imitators--perhaps not
less than one thousand philosophic coxcombs visit London annually; and
if Sir Edward were to die, they might all with great propriety lay claim
to a participation in the property he might leave behind him, as near
relations to the family of the Knowells. These gentlemen violate all the
moral duties of life with impunity: they are shameless, irreligious,
and so insignificant, that they seem to consider themselves born for
no useful purpose whatever. Indeed they are such perfect blanks in the
creation, that were they transported to some other place, the community
would never miss them, except by the diminution of follies and vices.
Like poisonous plants, they merely vegetate, diffuse their contagious
effluvia around, then sink into corruption, and are forgotten for ever."

"Whip me such fellows through the world," exclaimed Sparkle, "I have no
relish for them."

On calling in at Long's Hotel, they were informed that Sparkle's servant
had been in pur