And truly enough they were, for
the lender was never destined to cast an eye on any portion of the loan
again. I was, indeed, so fortunate as to catch a glimpse of my globes
and instruments at a pawnbroker's, and the fragments of my library at
sundry book-stalls. It was now high time to cut the connection, for the
Socratics were rapidly withdrawing. The association, for want of the
true golden astringent, like a dumpling without its suet, or a cheap
baker's quartern loaf without its 'doctor,' (i.e. alum), was falling to
pieces. The worthy treasurer had retired, seizing on such articles as
were most within reach; and when I called upon him with my resignation,
I had the pleasure of seeing my own busts handsomely lining the walls of
the toothdrawer's passage. I waited on the Socratics for the Bums they
had been so polite as to borrow.--One, to shew that he had profited by
studying Socrates, threatened to accuse me and the society of a plot to
overturn the government, if a syllable more on so low a subject as money
was mentioned. Another told me that he was just going on a visit to
Abbot's Park for three months, and should be glad to see me when he came
back. A third, an unwashed artificer,' was so kind as to inform me that
~~414~~~ he 'had just got white-washed, and he did not care one straw
for my black looks.' And a fourth, an index-maker, when presented
with his acceptance, kindly indicated that he had not the slightest
recollection of the thing, and that, if I persisted in compelling
payment, he would bring a philosophical gentleman from Cold Bath
Fields, and two honest men from Newgate, to swear that it was not his
hand-writing.

"The drop-curtain being thus let down on the last act of the farce,
there was no alternative between being queerly plundered, or instantly
laying a horse-whip over the hungry philosophers. To sue them reminded
me of the proverb--'Sue a beggar,' &c. To crack a _baculine_ joke over
their sconces would involve an expense which the worthy philosophers
were not worth. I had done an imprudent thing in joining the 'march of
mind,' and all that I could do was to brush the dust from my coat and
the mud from my shoes: 'he that touches pitch,' says Solomon, 'shall
he not be denied thereby?' Mr. Treasurer, therefore, remained in
quiet possession of the busts--the book-stall displayed the properly
appreciated volumes--and the Socratic borrowers took all the care in the
world of 'value received.'"

Thus