and, seating himself at the piano with an exclamation that
brought the roisterers to their senses, extemporized then and there the
famous "Marche Funebre," while his Bohemian auditory applauded in frantic
delight.--_London Globe._

VERY SUPERIOR CLAY.

The late Eugene Field, while on one of his lecturing tours, entered
Philadelphia.

There was some delay at the bridge over the Schuylkill River, and the
humorist's attention was attracted by the turbid, coffee-colored stream
flowing underneath. He asked the colored porter:

"Don't you people get your drinking-water from this stream?"

"Yassir! Ain't got no yuther place to git it frum, 'cept th' Delaweah.
Yassir!"

"I should think," said the humorist, "that you would be afraid to drink
such water; especially as the seepage from that cemetery I see on the hill
must drain directly into the river and pollute it."

"I reckon yo' all doan' know Philadelphy ve'y well, sah, aw yo'd know
dat's Lau'el Hill Cemete'y!" said the son of Ham.

"Well, what of that?" asked Field.

"Dat wattah doan' hu't us Philaydelphians none, sah," replied the native
son. "W'y, mos' all of de folkses bu'ied theah aw f'om ouah ve'y best
fam'lies!"--_Success._

MR. CRAWFORD'S ENDEAVOR.

"W.B. Yeats, the English poet, got off a good thing when he was at the
Franklin Inn for lunch the other day," said the Literary Man. "Of course
he's all for art for art's sake, but he told of a woman who once said to
Marion Crawford, the novelist:

"'Have you ever written anything that will live after you have gone?'

"'Madam,' Crawford replied, 'what I am trying to do is to write something
that will enable me to live while I am here.'"--_Philadelphia Press._

THE HOT WATER CURE.

Dr. William Osler is always exceedingly precise in his directions to
patients. He relates an experience which a brother practitioner once had
which illustrates the dangers of lack of precision.

A young man one day visited this doctor and described a common malady that
had befallen him.

"The thing for you to do," the physician said, "is to drink hot water an
hour before breakfast every morning."

The patient took his leave, and in a week returned.

"Well, how are you feeling?" the physician asked.

"Worse, doctor; worse, if anything," was the reply.

"Ah! Did you follow my advice and drink hot water an hour before
breakfast?"

"I did my best, sir," said the young man, "but I couldn't keep it up
more'n ten minut