y manager was approached by a man who had the local
reputation of being a pass 'worker,' or dead-beat. He told the usual yarn
about being a former actor, and ended by asking for professional
courtesies.

"'I would be glad to oblige you,' said the manager, 'but, unfortunately, I
haven't a card with me.' Just then a happy thought struck him, and he
added: 'I'll tell you what I'll do. I will write the pass where it will be
easy for you to show it.'

"Leaning over, with a pencil he wrote 'Pass the bearer' on the fellow's
white shirt-front, and signed his name. The beat thanked him and hastened
to the gate. The ticket-taker gravely examined the writing and let him
take a few steps inside, then called him back, saying, in a loud voice:

"'Hold on, my friend; I forgot. It will be necessary for you to leave that
pass with me.'"--_Harper's Weekly._

THE HOST WAS PLEASED.

"Edward Everett Hale," said a lawyer, "was one of the guests at a
millionaire's dinner.

"The millionaire was a free spender, but he wanted full credit for every
dollar put out.

"And, as the dinner progressed, he told his guests what the more expensive
dishes had cost. He dwelt especially on the expense of the large and
beautiful grapes, each bunch a foot long, each grape bigger than a plum.
He told, down to a penny, what he had figured it out that the grapes had
cost him apiece.

"The guests looked annoyed. They ate the expensive grapes charily. But Dr.
Hale, smiling, extended his plate and said:

"'Would you mind cutting me off about $1.87 worth more, please?'"--_New
York Tribune._

CHOPIN'S "INSPIRATION."

Many people have heard the "Marche Funebre" of Chopin, but few are aware
that it had its origin in a rather ghastly after-dinner frolic.

The painter Ziem, still living in hale old age, relates how, about
fifty-six years ago, he had given a little Bohemian dinner in his studio,
which was divided by hangings into three sections. In one section was a
skeleton sometimes used by Ziem for "draping" and an old piano covered
with a sheet.

During the after-dinner fun Ziem and the painter Ricard crept into this
section, and, wrapping the old sheet like a pall around the skeleton,
carried it among their comrades, where Polignac seized it, and, wrapping
himself with the skeleton in the sheet, sat down to play a queer dance of
death at the wheezy old piano.

In the midst of it all, Chopin, who was of the party, was seized with an
inspiration,