n ice; long before Swindon it was a talking match--at Swindon who so
devoted as Captain Dolignan?--he handed them out--he souped them--he
tough-chickened them--he brandied and cochinealed one, and brandied and
burnt-sugared the other; on their return to the carriage, one lady passed
into the inner compartment to inspect a certain gentleman's seat on that
side of the line.

Reader, had it been you or I, the beauty would have been the deserter, the
average one would have stayed with us till all was blue, ourselves
included; not more surely does our slice of bread and butter, when it
escapes from our hand, revolve it ever so often, alight face downward on
the carpet.

But this was a bit of a fop, Adonis, dragoon--so Venus remained
_tete-a-tete_ with him. You have seen a dog meet an unknown female of the
species; how handsome, how impresse, how expressive he becomes; such was
Dolignan after Swindon, and to do the dog justice, he got handsome and
handsomer; and you have seen a cat conscious of approaching cream--such
was Miss Haythorn; she became demurer and demurer; presently our captain
looked out of the window and laughed; this elicited an inquiring look from
Miss Haythorn.

"We are only a mile from the Box Tunnel."

"Do you always laugh a mile from the Box Tunnel?" said the lady.

"Invariably."

"What for?"

"Why, hem! It is a gentleman's joke."

Captain Dolignan then recounted to Miss Haythorn the following:

"A lady and her husband sat together going through the Box Tunnel--there
was one gentleman opposite; it was pitch dark; after the tunnel the lady
said, 'George, how absurd of you to salute me going through the tunnel.'
'I did no such thing.' 'You didn't?' 'No! Why?' 'Because somehow I thought
you did!'"

Here Captain Dolignan laughed and endeavored to lead his companion to
laugh, but it was not to be done. The train entered the tunnel.

Miss Haythorn. Ah!

Dolignan. What is the matter?

Miss Haythorn. I am frightened.

Dolignan (moving to her side). Pray do not be alarmed; I am near you.

Miss Haythorn. You are near me--very near me, indeed, Captain Dolignan.

Dolignan. You know my name?

Miss Haythorn. I heard you mention it. I wish we were out of this dark
place.

Dolignan. I could be content to spend hours here, reassuring you, my dear
lady.

Miss Haythorn. Nonsense!

Dolignan. Pweep! (Grave reader, do not put your lips to the next pretty
creature you meet or you will understand what t