ed whether the picture would
have been a heroic one provided the painter had not substituted his own
legs for those of the mayor--I must say, I am afraid not. I have no idea
of making heroic pictures out of English mayors, even with the assistance
of Norman arches; yet I am sure that capital pictures might be made out
of English mayors, not issuing from Norman arches, but rather from the
door of the 'Checquers' or the 'Brewers Three.' The painter in question
had great comic power, which he scarcely ever cultivated; he would fain
be a Rafael, which he never could be, when he might have been something
quite as good--another Hogarth; the only comic piece which he ever
presented to the world being something little inferior to the best of
that illustrious master. I have often thought what a capital picture
might have been made by my brother's friend, if, instead of making the
mayor issue out of the Norman arch, he had painted him moving under the
sign of the 'Checquers,' or the 'Three Brewers,' with mace--yes, with
mace,--the mace appears in the picture issuing out of the Norman arch
behind the mayor,--but likewise with Snap, and with whiffler, quart pot,
and frying-pan, Billy Blind and Owlenglass, Mr. Petulengro and
Pakomovna;--then, had he clapped his own legs upon the mayor, or any one
else in the concourse, what matter? But I repeat that I have no hope of
making heroic pictures out of English mayors, or indeed, out of English
figures in general. England may be a land of heroic hearts, but it is
not, properly, a land of heroic figures, or heroic posture-making. Italy
. . . what was I going to say about Italy?

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

NO AUTHORITY WHATEVER--INTERFERENCE--WONDROUS FARRAGO--BRANDT AND
STRUENSEE--WHAT A LIFE!--THE HEARSE--MORTAL RELICS--GREAT POET--FASHION &
FAME--A DIFFERENCE--GOOD FOR NOTHING

And now once more to my pursuits, to my Lives and Trials. However
partial at first I might be to these lives and trials, it was not long
before they became regular trials to me, owing to the whims and caprices
of the publisher. I had not been long connected with him before I
discovered that he was wonderfully fond of interfering with other
people's business--at least with the business of those who were under his
control. What a life did his unfortunate authors lead! He had many in
his employ toiling at all kinds of subjects--I call them authors because
there is something respectable in the term author