Farmer Carter's Dog, Porter." The latter is a
composition of "exquisite wit and humor."

In 1772 the Excise officers throughout the kingdom were dissatisfied
with their salaries, and formed a plan to apply to Parliament for an
increase. Paine being distinguished among them as a man of great
talent, was solicited to draw up and state their case, which he did in a
pamphlet entitled "The Case of the Salary of the Officers of Excise, and
Thoughts on the Corruption arising from the Poverty of Excise Officers."
Four thousand copies of this pamphlet were printed and circulated. Some
time after this publication, Paine, being in the grocery business, was
_suspected_ of unfair practices, and was dismissed the Excise, after
being in it twelve years. This _suspicion_, however, was never shown
to be just. But to show how _very vigorous_ the authorities were in
_suppressing_ smuggling, we will quote the following letter from Clio
Rickman to the Editor of the Independent Whig, in October, 1807:--

"Sir,--If there are any characters more to be abhorred than others,
it is those who inflict severe punishments against offenders, and yet
themselves commit the same crimes.

"If any characters more than others deserve execration, exposure, and
to be driven from among mankind, it is those governors of the people who
break the laws they themselves make, and punish others for breaking.

"Suffer me, Mr. Editor, thus to preface the following fact; fact, I say,
because I stand ready to prove it so.

"When Admiral Duncan rendezvoused in the Downs with his fleet, on the
8th of January, 1806, the Spider lugger, Daniel Falara, master, was sent
to Guernsey to smuggle articles for the fleet, such as wine, spirits,
hair powder, playing cards, tobacco, etc., for the supply of the
different ships.

"At her arrival in the Downs, the ships' boats flocked round her
to unload her and her contraband cargo. A Custom House extra boat,
commanded by William Wallace, seeing the lugger, followed and took her;
in doing which he did his duty.

"On his inspecting the smuggled articles with which she was laden, he
found a number of cases directed to Admiral Duncan, the Right Honorable
William Pitt, the heaven-born Minister of England, and to the Right
Honorable Henry Dundas, Walmer Castle. In a few days, Wallace, the
master of the Custom House cutter, received orders from Government to
give the lugger and her smuggled cargo up, on penalty of being dismissed
the s