peneth so soon as he
toucheth it; and he telleth me that, whenas he cometh to the door of
my chamber, before opening it, he pronounceth certain words, by virtue
whereof my husband incontinent falleth asleep, and so soon as he
perceiveth him to be fast, he openeth the door and cometh in and lieth
with me; and this never faileth.' Quoth the mock priest, 'Madam, this
is ill done, and it behoveth you altogether to refrain therefrom.'
'Sir,' answered the lady, 'methinketh I could never do that, for that
I love him too well.' 'Then,' said the other, 'I cannot shrive you.'
Quoth she, 'I am grieved for that; but I came not hither to tell you
lies; an I thought I could do it, I would tell you so.' 'In truth,
madam,' replied the husband, 'I am concerned for you, for that I see
you lose your soul at this game; but, to do you service, I will well
to take the pains of putting up my special orisons to God in your
name, the which maybe shall profit you, and I will send you bytimes a
little clerk of mine, to whom you shall say if they have profited you
or not; and if they have profited you, we will proceed farther.'
'Sir,' answered the lady, 'whatever you do, send none to me at home,
for, should my husband come to know of it, he is so terribly jealous
that nothing in the world would get it out of his head that your
messenger came hither for nought[352] but ill, and I should have no
peace with him this year to come.' Quoth the other, 'Madam, have no
fear of that, for I will certainly contrive it on such wise that you
shall never hear a word of the matter from him.' Then said she, 'So
but you can engage to do that, I am content.' Then, having made her
confession and gotten her penance, she rose to her feet and went off
to hear mass; whilst the jealous man, (ill luck go with him!)
withdrew, bursting with rage, to put off his priest's habit, and
returned home, impatient to find a means of surprising the priest with
his wife, so he might play the one and the other an ill turn.

[Footnote 352: Boccaccio writes carelessly "for _aught_" (_altro_),
which makes nonsense of the passage.]

Presently the lady came back from church and saw plainly enough from
her husband's looks that she had given him an ill Christmas; albeit he
studied, as most he might, to conceal that which he had done and what
himseemed he had learned. Then, being inwardly resolved to lie in wait
near the street-door that night and watch for the priest's coming, he
said to the