own in my room, and I can't find them. I
pulled every blessed thing out of the chiffonier and wardrobe, and
they're not there!

HOSTESS--Oh, Henry! You _must_ hurry--I'm going to use your room for the
gentlemen's dressing-room, and it's time now for people to come. You
_must_ hurry.

HOST (_from above, just as front door opens, admitting_ Baron von
Gosheimer _and two women guests_)--Where the devil are my shirts?

HOSTESS (_unconscious of arrivals_)--Under the bed in my room. Hurry!

(HOST, _in bath gown and slippers, dashes madly into wife's room, and
dives under bed as women guests enter. Unable to escape, he crawls
farther beneath bed. His feet remain visible. Women guests discover
them._)

GUESTS (_in chorus_)--Burglars! burglars! Help! help!

(Baron von Gosheimer, _ascending to the next floor, hears them and
hastens to the rescue._)

BARON--Don't be alarmed, ladies. Has either of you a poker? No? That is
to be deplored. (_Catches_ Host _by heels and drags him out. Tableau._)

HOSTESS (to Poor Relative, _giving an extra tug at her gloves_)--There,
it's all burst out on the side! That stupid saleslady said she knew they
would be too small. Oh, dear, I'm that upset! And these Louis Quinze
slippers are just murdering me. I wish it were all over.

(_Enter_ Baron von Gosheimer _and women guests._)

HOSTESS--Dear baron, how good of you! I was just saying, if you didn't
come I should wish my musicale in Jericho. And, now that you are here, I
don't care if any one else comes or not. (_To women guests._) How d'ye
do? I must apologize for Mr. Smythe--he's been detained down-town. He
just telephoned me. He'll be in later. Do sit down; it's just as cheap
as standing, I always say, and it does save your feet. You ladies can
find seats over in the corner. (_Detaining_ Baron.) Dear baron--(_Enter
guests._)

GUEST--So glad you have a clear evening. Now, when _we_ gave _our_
affair, it _poured_. Of course, _we_ had a crowd, just the same. People
_always_ come to _us_, whether it rains or not. (_Takes a seat. Guests
begin to arrive in numbers._)

HOSTESS--So sweet of you to come!

GUEST--So glad you have a pleasant evening. I am sure to have a bad
night whenever I entertain--

HOSTESS--(_to another guest_)--So delightful of you to come!

GUEST--Such a perfect evening! I'm _so_ glad. I said as we started out,
"Now, this time, Mrs. Smythe can't help but have plenty of people.
Whenever I entertain, it's sure to--" (_M