owever, was with mamma's and his spectacles, for they had four
pairs between them--far-sighted and near-sighted. There were, indeed,
_optical_ delusions practiced with them; for when papa wanted his, they
were hidden behind some pickle-jar; and when mamma had carefully placed
hers in her key-basket, they were generally found in one of papa's
various pockets; when a distant object was to be seen, he was sure to
mount the near-sighted, and cry "Pshaw!" and if a splinter was to be
taken out, nothing could be found but the far-sighted ones, and he said
something worse: sometimes all four pairs were missing, and such a
scampering ensued!

We now heard a great outcry up-stairs. "Wife! Chloe! Cornelia! come and
find my drab coat!" We looked at each other in dismay, but papa was not
a man for delay, and we obeyed his summons.

"Wife," said he, beating aside the externals of man that hung about his
dressing-room, "where is my old drab coat?"

Mamma swallowed as if a dry artichoke was in her throat, as she said,
slowly, "Why, colonel, you know you had not worn that coat for months,
and as you have another one, and a _roquelaure_, and the coat was full
of moth-holes, I exchanged it with the peddler for cut glass and plate."

"Cut devils!" said papa, who liked to soften an oath by combinations;
"it was worth twenty dollars--yes, more, because I felt at home in it. I
hate new coats as I do--"

"But, colonel," interrupted mamma, "you did not see the scarlet tray,
and the--"

"Scarlet nonsense," shouted papa; "I believe, if they could, women would
sell their husbands to those rascally peddlers!"

Beauty and the hounds were now pronounced ready. I followed papa to the
piazza, and heard his wrath rolling off as he cantered away.

_HERE'S A MERRY BOOK BY A MERRY MAN_

THE SUNNY SIDE OF THE STREET

By MARSHALL P. WILDER

_Author of "Smiling 'Round the World"._

"His book--like American conversation--is made up of anecdotes. He talks
intimately of Richard Croker, President McKinley, President Harrison,
Joseph Jefferson, Senator Depew, Henry Watterson, Gen. Horace Porter,
Augustin Daly, Henry Irving, Buffalo Bill, King Edward VII., Mrs.
Langtry, and a host of other personages, large and small, and
medium-sized. He tells many good stories. We can recommend his book as
cheerful reading."--_New York Times._

"It is replete with anecdotes and observations relating to the
humorous side of life, intimate bits of in