"'No,' says the gentleman.

"'Well, I don't see how in h----ll they all manage to get along in a
country whar thar ain't no ranges and they don't make no beef. A man
ain't considered worth a cuss in Indiany what hasn't got his brand on a
hundred head.'

"'Yours is a great beef country, I believe,' says the old gentleman.

"'Well, sir, it ain't anything else. A man that's got sense enuff to
foller his own cow-bell with us ain't in no danger of starvin'. I'm
gwine down to Orleans to see if I can't git a contract out of Uncle Sam
to feed the boys what's been lickin' them infernal Mexicans so bad. I
s'pose you've seed them cussed lies what's been in the papers about the
Indiany boys at Bony Visty.'

"'I've read some accounts of the battle,' says the old gentleman, 'that
didn't give a very flattering account of the conduct of some of our
troops.'

"With that, the Indiany man went into a full explanation of the affair,
and, gettin' warmed up as he went along, begun to cuss and swear like
he'd been through a dozen campaigns himself. The old preacher listened
to him with evident signs of displeasure, twistin' and groanin' till he
couldn't stand it no longer.

"'My friend,' says he, 'you must excuse me, but your conversation would
be a great deal more interesting to me--and I'm sure would please the
company much better--if you wouldn't swear so terribly. It's very wrong
to swear, and I hope you'll have respect for our feelin's, if you hain't
no respect for your Maker.'

"If the hoosier had been struck with thunder and lightnin', he couldn't
have been more completely tuck aback. He shut his mouth right in the
middle of what he was sayin', and looked at the preacher, while his
face got as red as fire.

"'Swearin',' says the old preacher, 'is a terrible bad practice, and
there ain't no use in it, nohow. The Bible says, Swear not at all, and I
s'pose you know the commandments about swearin'?'

"The old lady sort of brightened up,--the preacher was her 'duck of a
man'; the old fellow with the nose and cane let off a few 'umph, ah!
umphs'; but 'Indiany' kept shady; he appeared to be cowed down.

"'I know,' says the preacher, 'that a great many people swear without
thinkin', and some people don't b'lieve the Bible.'

"And then he went on to preach a regular sermon ag'in swearing, and to
quote Scripture like he had the whole Bible by heart. In the course of
his argument he undertook to prove the Scriptures to be true, a