Essay on Stolen Books_, asserts that there never yet was a
book printed but was more or less stolen; and society, he argues, in no
shape, in none of its classes--neither in the prison, lockup, blackhole,
or penitentiary--presents us with such a set of impenitents and
irreclaimable thieves as those who write books. Theft is their
profession, and gets them the dishonest bread by which they live. These
may always read the eighth commandment by leaving the negative out,
and then take it in an injunctive sense. Such persons, in prosecuting
another for stealing a book, cannot come into court with clean hands.
Felons in literature, therefore, appear here with a very bad grace in
prosecuting others for the very crime which they themselves are in the
habit of committing."

"But, your worship," said Dr. A----, "this charge against authors cannot
apply to me; the book in question is a translation."

"Pooh!" exclaimed Coke, "only a translation! But even so, has it notes
or comments?"

"It has, your worship; but they--"

"And, sir, could you declare solemnly, that there is nothing stolen in
the notes and comments, or introduction, if there is any?"

The doctor, "Ehem! hem!"

"But in the meantime," proceeded Coke, "here have I gone to the trouble
of giving such a profound decision upon a mere translation! Who is the
translator?"

"I am myself, your worship; and in this case I am both plaintiff and
translator."

"That, however," said Coke, shaking his head solemnly, "makes the case
against you still worse."

"But, your worship, there is no case against me. I have already told
you that I am plaintiff and translator; and, with great respect, I don't
think you have yet given any decision whatever."

"I have decided, sir," replied Coke, "and taken the case I read for you
as a precedent."

"But in that case, your worship, the woman was convicted."

"And so she is in this, sir," replied Coke. "Officer, put Biddy Corcoran
forward. Biddy Corcoran, you are an old woman, which, indeed, is
evident from the nature of your offence, and have been convicted of the
egregious folly of purchasing a translation, which this gentleman says
was compiled or got up by himself. This is conduct which the court
cannot overlook, inasmuch as if it were persisted in, we might, God help
us, become inundated with translations. I am against translations--I
have ever been against them, and I shall ever be against them. They are
immoral in themselves, a