o MRS. SHAWN.) Here, you'd better come and sit a bit nearer
the fire. (Very kindly.) Come along now!

MRS. S. (Obeying.) Thank you, m'm.

JANET. (To JOHN.) And which of you boys was it that had the idea of
keeping a middle-aged woman perishing on a doorstep before daylight in
February?

JOHN. How else could we--

JAMES. (Interrupting him.) Excuse me, John.

JOHN. (Subsiding.) I beg your pardon, James.

JAMES. (To JANET.) All questions should be addressed to me. My brother
John is here solely to take charge of our mother. We have done our
best, by careful forethought, to ensure that this painful interview
shall be as brief and as dignified as possible.

JANET. And couldn't you think of anything cleverer than to give your
poor mother her death of cold for a start?

JAMES. How else could we have arranged it? I myself rang at your door
for a quarter of an hour yesterday afternoon.

JANET. We never heard you.

JAMES. Strange!

JANET. No, it isn't. We took the bell off three days ago.

JAMES. I was told that it was impossible to effect an entrance in the
ordinary way. Hence, we had to use craft. I argued that food must come
into the house, and that it probably came in early.

JANET. Well, it's a good thing for you I happened to hear the cat
mewing, or you might have had another couple of hours in my back yard.
You're the eldest, I suppose.

JAMES. We are twins.

JANET. Really!

CARVE. As you say--really!

JAMES. I am the older, but the difference between us is not
considerable.

JOHN. Now, mother, please don't cry.

JANET. (Having poured out a cup of tea, holds it before MRS. SHAWN.)
Sugar? (MRS. SHAWN signifies an affirmative--JANET drops sugar into
cup, which MRS. SHAWN takes.) You'll drink it easier if you lift your
veil.

JAMES. Now, mother--you are sure you recognise this gentleman?

MRS. S. (Not very positively.) Yes--yes. It's a rare long while....

JAMES. He is your husband and our father?

MRS. S. (More positively.) Yes. And sorry I am to say it. (JANET eyes
her carefully.)

JAMES. I think that suffices. (To JANET.) Madam, you are in a most
unfortunate position. You supposed yourself to be a married woman,
whereas you are nothing of the kind. I needn't say that as the victim of
a heartless bigamist you have our deepest....

JANET. (Handing him a slice of bread on toasting-fork.) Just toast
this for your mother, will you, and mind the bars. I'll get another cup
or two. (Goes to sideb