lleagues, who, he was assured, would give this question their most
serious consideration.

The young gentlemen then gave three groans for the CHANCELLOR of the
EXCHEQUER, and bolted.

* * * * *

THE MARBLE ARCH.

(_A Song for the Season._)

"Can nothing be done for the Marble Arch?...London soot-flakes have
dealt cruelly with a surface admirably calculated to receive
them."--_Pall Mall Gazette._

AIR--"_I Dreamt that I Dwelt in Marble Halls._"

I DREAMT that I gazed at the Marble Arch,
King Fog and King Coal at my side,
The soot of November, the dust-storms of March
Had made it a sight to deride.
I said all the foreigners think, I'll be bound,
To our City this thing is a shame;
But I guess 'twill be found, when next Season comes round,
That its state is much the same.

It _does_ want a wash, there's no doubt about that,
For the marble's a dull, dirty brown;
That is, where it isn't as black as your hat--
_Can't_ they clean it while Swelldom's from Town?
Marble? Deft TADEMA, I will be bound,
Would say 'tis not worthy the name;
But I'd wager a pound, when next Season comes round,
We shall find it still the same.

* * * * *

EVICTION.

A WOFUL BALLAD OF WIMBLEDON. AIR--"_The British Grenadier._"

[Illustration: _Illustrious President._ "NOW, MY LAD, SORRY TO
INCONVENIENCE YOU, BUT--HEM--HA--YOU MUST REALLY GO--SOMEWHERE ELSE!"]

SOME prate of patriotism, and some of cheap defence,
But to the high official mind that's all absurd pretence;
For of all the joys of snubbing, there's none to it _so_ dear,
As to snub, snub, snub, snub, snub, snub the British Volunteer!

A patriotic Laureate may bid the Rifles form,
And Citizens may look to them for safety in War's storm;
But Secretaries, Dooks, and such at this delight to jeer,
And to snub, snub, snub, snub, snub, snub the British Volunteer!

A semi-swell he may be, but he may be a mere clerk,
And he's an interloper, and to snub him is a lark.
Sometimes he licks the Regulars, and so our duty's clear,
'Tis to snub, snub, snub, snub, snub, snub the British Volunteer!

He hankers for an increase in his Capitation Grant,
It's like his precious impudence, and have the lift he shan't.
What, make it easier for him to run us close? No fear!
We'll snub, snub, snub, snub, snub, snub the British Volunteer!

He