rust to his heels than to his fists, he has only to
excite his organ of _combativeness_ by scratching vigorously behind his
ear, and he will forthwith become bold as a lion, valiant as a
game-cock--in short, a very lad of _whacks_, ready to fight the devil if
he dared him. In like manner, a constant irritation of the organ of
_veneration_ on the top of his head will make him an accomplished
courtier, and imbue him with a profound respect for stars and coronets.
Now if it be possible--and that it is, no one will now attempt to deny--to
divide the brain into distinct faculties, why may not the stomach, which,
it has been admitted by the Lord Mayor and the Board of Aldermen, is a far
nobler organ than the brain,--why may it not also possess several
faculties? As we know that a particular part of the brain is appropriated
for the faculty of _time_, another for that of _wit_, and so on, is it not
reasonable to suppose that there is a certain portion of the stomach
appropriated to the faculty of _roast beef_, another for that of _devilled
kidney_ and so forth?

It may be said that the stomach is a single organ, and therefore incapable
of performing more than one function. As well might it be asserted that it
was a steam-engine, with a single furnace consuming Whitehaven, Scotch, or
Newcastle coals indiscriminately. The fact is, the stomach is not a single
organ, but in reality a congeries of organs, each receiving its own proper
kind of aliment, and developing itself by outward bumps and prominences,
which indicate with amazing accuracy the existence of the particular
faculty to which it has been assigned.

It is upon these facts that I have founded my system of Stomachology; and
contemplating what has been done, what is doing, and what is likely to be
done, in the analogous science of phrenology, I do not despair of seeing
the human body mapped out, and marked all over with faculties, feelings,
propensities, and powers, like a tattooed New Zealander. The study of
anatomy will then be entirely superseded, and the scientific world would
be guided, as the fashionable world is now, entirely by externals.

The circumstances which led me to the discovery of this important
constitution of the stomach were partly accidental, and partly owing to my
own intuitive sagacity. I had long observed that Judy, "my soul's far
dearer part," entertained a decided partiality for a leg of pork and
pease-pudding--to which _I_ have a positive disl