kindly sent hence
Beyond the blue wave, at his country's expense!--
Yet so bad, so disgracefully bad, seems to me
The state of the law in this '_Land of the free_'"--
(Speak these words in a manner most zealous and fervid)--
That there's no law for those who most richly deserve it!
Yes, Sir, 'tis a fact not less true than astounding--
A fact--to the wise with instruction abounding,
That those who the face of the country destroy,
And hurl o'er the best scenes of Nature alloy--
Who Earth's brightest portions cut through at a dash--
Who mix beauty and beastliness all in one hash"--
(I don't dwell upon deaths, since a reason so brittle
Is but worthy of minds unpoetic and little)--
"Base scum of the Earth, and sweet Nature's dissectors,
Meet with no just reward--these same Railway Directors!"
I've not mentioned the "Laughters," the "Bravos," the "Hears,"
"Agitations," "Sensations," and "Deafening Cheers,"
Which of course would attend a speech _so_ patriotic,
So truly exciting, and anti-narcotic!
In this style I'd proceed, 'till I'd proved to the House
That these railways, in fact, were a national _chouse_,
And the best thing to do for poor Earth, to protect her,
Would be--_to hang daily a Railway Director!_
_Of course_ the Hon. Members could ne'er have a thought
Of opposing a motion with kindness so fraught;
But would welcome with fervent and loud acclamation }
A project so teeming with consideration, }
As a model of justice, a boon to the nation! }
Such, Simon, if I were a Parliament man,
The basis would be, and the scope, of my plan!
But my rushlight is drooping--so trusting diurnally,
To hear your opinion--believe me eternally
(Whilst swearing affection, best swear in the lump)
Your obedient,
devoted,
admiring,
JOHN STUMP.

[1] The exact tune of this interesting song it has not been in
our power to discover--it is, however, undoubtedly a truly
national melody.

[2] After due inquiry we have satisfied ourselves that the
individual here mentioned is _not_ H.M.'s late
Solicitor-General, but one Jonathan Wilde, touching whose
history _vide_ Jack Sheppard.

* * * * *

PROSPECTUS FOR A NEW HAND-BOOK OF JESTERS;

OR, YOUNG JOKER'S BEST COMPANION.

"All the world's a joke, and all