So year by year my back they shear,
Sure that they'll find _me_ dumb.
But the oft-trodden worm will turn;
"Demand Notes" never slack;
And "Schedule D" fast at twice three,
Breaks the wage-earner's back.
So please give me a Penny, Sir!

The moneyed swells who make "returns,"
Much at their own sweet will,
Don't gauge the poor clerk's scanty purse,
The small shopkeeper's till,
How hard 'tis to make both ends meet,
When hard times tightly nip;
Or how small incomes sorely feel
The annual sixpenny dip.
So please give me a Penny, Sir!

Please give me a Penny, Sir!
'Tis heard on every side,
Muttered by poverty's pinched lip,
Silent so long--from pride.
Ah! listen to their pleadings, Sir,
And pity the true poor,
Whose life is one long fight to keep
The wolf from the house-door.
Oh, please give me a Penny, Sir!

* * * * *

"ROOSE IN URBE."--Dr. ROBSON ROOSE has returned to town after a trip to
Madeira.

* * * * *

"SWEET STRIFE."

_By an Unionist M.P._

When PARNELL's mocked by HEALY,
In strident voice and squealy;
When HEALY'S snubbed by PARNELL,
In voice as from the charnel--
I understand the windy
Wild charm of WAGNER'S shindy.
Discord _may_ be melodious,
When Harmony sounds odious;
Than _Israfel_ more dear is
Old Erin's latest _Eris!_

* * * * *

THE _IN_-KERRECT KERR.

IT was once said that Pianos may now be had on "MOORE and MOORE" easy terms
every day. Mrs. WALTER found that those "easy terms" involved such
pleasures as returning the instrument she had paid many instalments on,
getting an order from the masterful Mr. Commissioner KERR to pay costs as
well, and committal to prison for three weeks on the charge of "contempt of
Court"--for disobeying an order which Justices SMITH and GRANTHAM declare
the genial Commissioner had no sort of right to make!!!

If this is the "hire-purchase system," a piano-less life is infinitely
preferable to braving its manifold perils and penalties. Easy terms,
indeed? Yes,--about as "easy" as "easy shaving" with a serrated
oyster-knife! Mrs. WALTER'S fate should be a warning to would-be
piano-purchasers, and, _Mr. Punch_ would fain hope, to exacting
System-workers and arbitrary Commissioners.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "PLEAS