E GIVE ME A PENNY!"

NEEDY INCOME-TAX PAYER (loq.). "HOPE YOU WON'T FORGET ME _THIS TIME_,
SIR!!"]

* * * * *

FOR BETTER OR WORSE!

(_Two Views of the Same Subject._)

POSSIBLE ROMANCE.

SCENE--_A Dungeon beneath the Castle Moat. Wife chained to a post, with
bread and water beside her. Enter Husband, with cat-o'-nine-tails._

_Husband._ And now, after ten days' seclusion, will you make over your
entire property to me, signing the deed with your life's blood?

_Wife_ (_in a feeble voice_). Never! You may kill me, but I will defy you
to the last!

_Husband._ Then die! [_He is about to leave the dungeon, when he is
met by a Messenger from the Court of Appeal._

_Messenger._ In the name of the Law, release your prisoner!

_Husband._ Foiled! [_Joy of_ Wife, _and tableau, as the Curtain
falls._

PROBABLE REALITY.

SCENE--_The Church-door of a fashionable Church. Wife bidding adieu to
Husband._

_Husband._ Surely, now that my name and fortune are yours, you will
reconsider your decision, and at least accompany me back to our wedding
breakfast?

_Wife_ (_in a firm voice_). Never! You may kill me, but I will defy you to
the last!

_Husband._ This is rank nonsense! You must take my arm. [_He is about
to leave the Church-porch, when he is met by a Messenger from the Court of
Appeal._

_Messenger._ In the name of the Law, release your prisoner!

_Husband._ Sold! [_Joy of Wife, and tableau, as the Curtain falls._

* * * * *

"WHAT'S IN A NAME?"

The "Cony" is feeble, the Bear's a rough bore.
But CONYBEARE'S both, and perhaps a bit more!

* * * * *

[Illustration: SMART NEW BOY IN CLOAK-ROOM HAS NOTED GENTLEMEN SHUTTING UP
THEIR CRUSH HATS, AND PROMPTLY FLATTENS DE JONES'S BEST SILK TOPPER!]

* * * * *

[Illustration]

THE OTHER MAN.

My health is good, I know no pain,
I am not married to a wife;
From all accounts I'm fairly sane,
And yet I'm sick to death of life.

The path that leads to wealth and fame
Cannot be traversed in a day;
I find it twice as hard a game,
Because a spectre bars the way.

It has no terrors such as his
Away from which the children ran;
It's not the Bogey, but it _is_
The Other Man.

I met a girl, she seemed to be
A kind of vision from above.
Sh