elics value.

The curl was worn, you'll tell your friends,
By TENNYSON or BROWNING
(The detail of the name depends
On who is worth renowning).

You'll vaunt that one who knew the grand
Victorian Stars, and rather
Deserved himself to join the band
(In fact your father's father),

Who, past expression, loved whate'er
The market cottons _then_ to,
Committed to your childish care
This genuine memento.

You'll catalogue it, as befalls
Your choice, my little gran'son;
You'll bear it to the deathless halls
Of CHRISTIE, WOODS, AND MANSON.

So, when the fateful hammer sounds,
And you have cashed in rhino
A cheque for, haply, forty pounds,
You'll bless your grandsire, I know;

Who, while his fortunes failed, and much
Was life's horizon o'ercast,
_Created_ souvenirs with such
A keen, commercial forecast.

* * * * *

[Illustration: ALL-ROUND POLITICIANS--SIR WILLIAM VARIETY HARCOURT.]

* * * * *

BACCHUS OUTWITTED; OR, THE TRIUMPH OF SOBRIETY.

(_Fragment from a Romance founded upon evidence given before the Select
Committee upon Dram-drinking._)

"I really think the experiment should be made," said the Professor. "Our
knowledge on the subject is so imperfect, that nothing definite can be
accurately pronounced."

"True enough," replied one of his friends; "but although the end to be
attained is excellent, may not the means be termed by the scrupulous
'questionable?'"

"By the over-scrupulous, perhaps," returned the Professor, with a smile.

"And the expense," observed a second of his intimates, "will be no small
consideration. If we put the matter to a thorough test, a large quantity--a
very large quantity of the necessary liquid will have to be purchased and
disposed of. Am I not right in hazarding this supposition?"

"Undoubtedly," responded the Professor, "and the cost will be enhanced by
the fact that the necessary liquids will have to be of the best possible
quality. As Dr. PAVEY observed before the Committee 'It is not the alcohol
in itself that is injurious, but the by-products.' Our aim must be to
eliminate the by-products."

"I think the idea first-rate," said the third friend; and then he paused
and added, seemingly as an after-thought, "Pass the bottle."

So the Professor and his three companions decided to make the investigation
in the cause of scientific re