, and my next-door
neighbour has suddenly converted his house into a Fried Fish Shop. Some of
his boxes protrude into my front garden. Have I the right of seizing them,
and eating contents, supposing them to be fit for human consumption? My
house is perpetually filled with the aroma of questionable herrings, and
very pronounced haddocks. I have asked, politely, for compensation, and
received only bad language. What should be my next step?--PERPLEXED.

DEED OF GIFT.--Upon my eldest son's marriage I wish to make him a really
handsome money present. My idea is to hand over to him L100, on condition
that he repays me ten per cent, as long as I live, my age now being
forty-five. Then as to security. Had I better get a Bill of Sale on the
furniture, which he has just had given him by his wife's father for their
new house, or how can I most effectually bind him?--GENEROUS PARENT.

HOLIDAY TRIP.--Would one of your readers inform me of a locality where I
can take my next summer's holiday of a month, for L3 10_s._, fare included?
It must be near the sea and high mountains, with a genial though bracing
climate. Good boating and bathing. Strictly honest lodging-house keepers
and romantic surroundings indispensable.--EASY TO PLEASE.

* * * * *

COMING DRESS.

(_Sweet Seventeen to the would-be Sumptuary Reformers at the Kensington
Town Hall._)

Vainly on Fashion you make war,
With querulous Book, and quaint Bazaar,
Good Ladies of the Higher Light!
A Turkish Tea-gown, loose or tight,
Won't win us to the Rational Cult;
Japanese skirts do but insult
Our elder instincts, to which _Reason_
Is nothing more nor less than treason.
Your "muddy weather costume" moves us
No more than satire, which reproves us
_Ad nauseam_, and for whose rebuff
We never care one pinch of snuff.
No, Ladies HARBERTON and COFFIN.
Your pleading, like the critics' "scoffin"
Touches us not; have we not smiled,
Mocking, at Mrs. OSCAR WILDE?
And shall we welcome with delight
Queer robes that make a girl "a fright?"
Pooh-pooh! We're simply imperturbable,
The Reign of Fashion's undisturbable.
The "Coming Dress?"--that's all sheer humming,
We only care for Dress _be_-Coming!

* * * * *

MODERN TYPES.

(_By Mr. Punch's Own Type Writer._)

No. XXV.--THE ADULATED CLERGYMAN.

The Adulated Clergyman possesses many of the genuine qualities of the
domes