not stand it--no!
Of Fiction, limp or strong,
Yanks want but little here below,
Nor want that little _long_!
(But oh! our (Saxon) stars one thanks,
Romance is _not_ (yet) ruled by Yanks!)

* * * * *

SONGS OF THE UN-SENTIMENTALIST.

THE TAX-COLLECTOR'S HEART.

I know his step, his ring, his knock,
I hear him, too, explain,
With emphasis my nerves that shock,
That he "won't call again!"
I know that bodes a coming storm--
A summons looms a-head!
I follow his retreating form,
And note his stealthy tread!
Some grace to beg, implore, beseech,
'Twere vain! Let him depart!
I know no human cry can reach
That Tax-Collector's heart!

He kept his word. To claim that rate
He never called again.
An outraged Vestry, loth to wait,
Soon made their purpose plain.
I know not how, I missed the day,--
But that fell summons came.
Two shillings costs it took to play
That Tax-Collector's game.
I own the outlay was not much!
But, _that_ is not the smart:
'Tis that no anguished shriek can touch
That Tax-Collector's heart!

* * * * *

"MORS ET VITA."--A fine performance, April 15, at Albert Hall, with ALBANI,
HILDA WILSON, Messrs. LLOYD, and WATKIN MILLS, and Dr. MACKENZIE, as
conductor or con-doctor. I should have given, writes our correspondent, a
full and enthusiastic account of it, but that I was bothered all the time
by two persons near me, who would talk and wouldn't listen. Thank goodness,
they didn't stay throughout the performance. In a theatre they'd have been
hushed down, but this is such a big place that a talking duet is heard only
in the immediate neighbourhood of the talkers; and then no one wants to
have a row during the performance of sacred music. It's like brawling in
church.

* * * * *

QUEER QUERIES.

THE TITHES QUESTION.--I am the Vicar of a country Church in Wales; but
owing to the total failure of my last attempt to distrain on the stock of a
neighbouring farmer, on which occasion I was tossed over a hedge by an
infuriated cow, my family and myself are starving. I wish to know if I can
legally pawn the lectern, the ancient carved pulpit, and several rare old
sedilia in the Church? Or they would be exchanged for an immediate supply
of their value in groceries.--URGENT.

ANNOYANCE FROM NEIGHBOUR.--I live in a quiet street