ional aspersion upon
the character of a worthy man. The C.O. of a certain battalion had
occasion to complain to those above him of the remissness of one of
his chaplains. "He's a lazy beggar, sir," he said. "Over and over
again I have told him to come up and show himself in the front-line
trenches, but he never seems to be able to get past Leicester
Square!")

The naming of the trenches themselves has been left largely to local
enterprise. An observant person can tell, by a study of the numerous
name-boards, which of his countrymen have been occupying the line
during the past six months. "Grainger Street" and "Jesmond Dene" give
direct evidence of "Canny N'castle." "Sherwood Avenue" and "Notts
Forest" have a Midland flavour. Lastly, no great mental effort is
required to decide who labelled two communication trenches "The
Gorbals" and "Coocaddens" respectively!

Some names have obviously been bestowed by officers, as "Sackville
Street," "The Albany," and "Burlington Arcade" denote. "Pinch-Gut"
and "Crab-Crawl" speak for themselves. So does "Vermin Villa." Other
localities, again, have obviously been labelled by persons endowed
with a nice gift of irony. "Sanctuary Wood" is the last place on earth
where any one would dream of taking sanctuary; while "Lovers' Walk,"
which bounds it, is the scene of almost daily expositions of the
choicest brand of Boche "hate."

And so on. But one day, when the War is over, and this mighty
trench-line is thrown open to the disciples of the excellent Mr.
Cook--as undoubtedly it will be--care should be taken that these
street-names are preserved and perpetuated. It would be impossible to
select a more characteristic and fitting memorial to the brave hearts
who constructed them--too many of whom are sleeping their last sleep
within a few yards of their own cheerful handiwork.

III

After this digression we at length reach the firing-line. It is quite
unlike anything of its kind that we have hitherto encountered. It
is situated in what was once a thick wood. Two fairly well-defined
trenches run through the undergrowth, from which the sentries of
either side have been keeping relentless watch upon one another, night
and day, for many months. The wood itself is a mere forest of poles:
hardly a branch, and not a twig, has been spared by the shrapnel. In
the no-man's-land between the trenches the poles have been reduced to
mere stumps a few inches high.

It is behind the firing-trench t