MEN. By the faith of a knight! What a pox, where are thy spurs?[207]

APP. I need no spurs; I ride, like Pegasus, on a winged horse--on a
swift jennet, my boy, called Fear.

MEN. What shouldst thou fear in the wars? He's not a good soldier that
hath not a good stomach.

APP. O, but the stink of powder spoils Appetitus's stomach, and then
thou knowest, when 'tis gone, Appetitus is dead; therefore I very
manfully drew my sword, and flourished it bravely about mine ears,
hist![208] and finding myself hurt, most manfully ran away.

MEN. All heart indeed, for thou rann'st like a hart out of the field. It
seems, then, the Senses mean to fight it out.

APP. Ay, and outfight themselves, I think; and all about a trifle, a
paltry bauble found, I know not where.

MEN. Thou art deceived: they fight for more than that; a thing called
superiority, of which the crown is but an emblem.

APP. Mendacio, hang this superiority; crown me no crown, but Bacchus's
crown of roses; give me no sceptre but a fat capon's leg, to show that I
am the great king of Hungary! Therefore, I prythee, talk no more of
state-matters: but in brief, tell me, my little rascal, how thou hast
spent thy time this many a day.

MEN. Faith, in some credit, since thou sawest me last.

APP. How so? where?

MEN. Everywhere. In the court your gentlewomen hang me at their
apron-strings, and that makes them answer so readily. In the city I am
honoured like a god; none so well acquainted with your tradesmen. Your
lawyers, all the termtime, hire me of my lady; your gallants, if they
hear my name abused, they stab for my sake; your travellers so doat upon
me as passes.[209] O, they have good reason; for I have carried them to
many a good meal under the countenance of my familiarity. Nay, your
statesmen have oftentimes closely conveyed me under their tongues, to
make their policies more current. As for old men, they challenge my
company by authority.

APP. I am exceeding glad of your great promotion.

MEN. Now, when I am disposed, I can philosophy it in the university with
the subtlest of them all.

APP. I cannot be persuaded that thou art acquainted with scholars, ever
since thou wert pressed to death in a printing-house.

MEN. No? why, I was the first founder of the three sects of philosophy,
except one of the Peripatetics, who acknowledge Aristotle, I confess,
their great grandfather.

APP. Thou boy! how is this possible? Thou art but a child, and there