nt, when the cuss knows that
he will never be able to earn more than twelve shillings a day on a farm
the longest day he lives, and that if she marries him she will have to
take in stairs to scrub and cook liver over an oil stove, and wear the
same dress she is married in till it will stand alone. We say that we
are opposed to young men killing their fathers. It has never seemed
right to us. But since the supplemental returns in this case are all in,
and we learn that old Mr. Utley was a drunken bulldozer who would take
the farm horses and go off to town on a three days' drunk, leaving the
young man to do all the work, and come back complaining because the work
was not done, and if the boy attempted to explain, he would be knocked
down with a stick of cord wood, and that on this occasion he was engaged
in trying to dissect young Utley with a butcher knife, claiming that
he was going to hang his hide on the fence, and cut out his liver and
stomach, and other things that Dr. Tanner has given a furlough, and that
the young man shot his father just to keep peace in the family, and to
save his own life, and that there were four quarts of raw whisky in
the old man's panjandrum when he turned up his toes, we feel like
apologizing to the young man and telling him that he did his country a
great service in wiping out his sire, baby mine. When an old man gets so
he can't enjoy himself without filling up with whisky and cutting slices
off the livers of live people, the sooner he climbs the golden stair the
better.

THE PIOUS DEACON AND THE WORLDLY COW.

One of those incidents that cause a pious man to damn the whole animal
creation occurred at Janesville last week. A business man that we all
know, got up last Tuesday morning and took a walk down by Monterey, to
view the beauties of nature and get up an appetite for breakfast. He is
a man who weighs close onto 150 pounds, though he is as kitteny as
anybody when occasion calls for kittenishness.

Gazing into the crystal waters of Rock River, it occurred to him that
he would take a bath, so he disrobed himself, laid his clothes upon
the ground and plunged in. He had been sporting with the wavelets, and
waving with the sportlets for some minutes, when he heard a bellowing on
shore, and he looked up to see a cow pawing the ground and running her
horns into his clothes. You know how the smell of blood or carrion will
cause the mildest mannered cow to get on her ear and paw the g