top, let's go and get a
glass of beer," we could hardly smile. Since then when we go hunting we
wear the best clothes we have got.

For years afterwards when fellows were joking, some of the party would
ask us "if the trapping was good this season." We got so we could not
look a myskrat in the face. So we say that practical joking is splendid
if it is on the other fellow. Always quit when they get it on to you.

A TEMPERANCE LECTURE THAT HURT.

There was probably the most astonished temperance man up above Stevens
Point the other day that ever was. The name of the temperance man is
Sutherland.

He is a nice gentleman, but, like many another man, he can never see a
person with his keg full of bug juice without giving him a talking to.

The other day Sutherland was driving along the road when he overtook an
Indian who asked for a ride. He was allowed to get in the wagon, when
Sutherland discovered that the Indian had a breath that would stop a
temperance clock. He smelled like a sidewalk in front of a wholesale
liquor store. The Indian was comfortably full, so full that his back
teeth were floating.

Sutherland thought it was a good time to get in his work, so he began
talking to the Indian about the wickedness of looking upon the whisky
when it was bay, and when it giveth its color in the nose. He told the
Indian of the wrecked homes, the poverty, the disgrace and death that
followed the use of liquor, and wound up by pleading with him to give
up his cups and join the angel band and shout hosannas in a temperance
lodge. The Indian did not understand a word that Suthland was saying,
but supposing by the looks of his nose and pleading eyes that he wanted
a drink, the Indian drew a large black bottle from under his blanket and
handed it to Sutherland, remarking: "Ugh! Dam firewater."

Sutherland thought that he had made a convert, and telling the Indian
that he was glad he had resolved to lead a different life, took the
bottle and dashed it upon the ground, smashing it into a thousand
pieces.

Well, the air seemed full of Indians. If Sutherland had torn out the
Indian's heart he could not have hurt the red man worse.

With a war whoop the Indian jumped on the seat, took Sutherland by the
hair and yanked him out on the ground. Sutherland yelled and the Indian
galloped over him. The team ran away, and the Indian mauled Sutherland.
He cut open his face, italicised his nose, put a roof over his eye and
felt fo