clothes; then, as
the oyster slipped around from one place to another, he felt that man
was only a poor, weak creature.

The oyster, he observed, had very cold feet, and the more he tried to be
calm and collected, the more the oyster seemed to walk around among his
vitals.

He says he does not know whether the ladies noticed the oyster when it
started on its travels, or not, but he thought as he leaned back and
tried to loosen up his clothing, so it would hurry down towards his
shoes, that they winked at each other, though they might have been
winking at something else.

The oyster seemed to be real spry until it got out of reach, and then it
got to going slow, as the slickery covering wore off, and by the time
it had worked into his trousers leg, it was going very slow, though it
remained cold to the last, and he hailed the arrival of that oyster into
the heel of his stocking with more delight than he did the raising of
the American flag over Vicksburg, after the long siege.

*****

The sleeping car companies are discussing the idea advanced by the
_Sun_, of placing safes in the cars, or iron drawers with locks, into
which passengers can place their watches and money. We trust the iron
drawers will be adopted, as the flannel drawers now used are not safe by
any means. It is true they are sometimes tied with a string in the small
of the back, but the combination is not difficult for even a stranger
to unlock, unless it is tied in a hard knot. Give us iron drawers in a
sleeping car by all means. To be sure they will be cold; but everything
is cold in a sleeping car except the colored porter.

*****

Several proprietors of eastern resorts have announced that only adults
will be entertained, and that no children will be admitted as guests on
any terms. At first we would be inclined to say that a hotel proprietor
who would make such a distinction could have no soul, but when we
reflect that the proprietor is catering to the pleasure of a majority of
his guests, then we conclude that the guests are devoid of souls.

What kind of a place would a summer resort be without happy children? It
would be a hospital for decayed roues, very old maids, women who
hated children, smart Alecks who were mashers, dead beats and sour
curmudgeons. The day would be put in in gossiping, exercising old flirts
with stiff joints, drinking at somebody's expense, and fishing for rich
husbands with graveyard coughs, and angling for