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YOUNG FOOLS WHO MARRY.
An exchange has the following item which may seem all right, but it will
get some young fellow's back broke yet:
"An Illinois justice has decided that courting is a public necessity,
and must not be interrupted; therefore, if a young man wanted to kiss a
girl he might put her father out of the room first if he liked."
The publication of the above may cause some smart youth to do something
he will regret. The lame, sickly-looking father of a girl may come into
the parlor some night and find the warm-haired youth on the sofa with
the girl, and when the old man speaks of it being time to stop such
nonsense, the young man, with this judicial decision in his mind, will
tell his prospective father-in-law to wipe off his vest and go to bed.
The old man will spit on his hands and grasp the warm-haired young man
by the county seat and tie him up in a double bow knot, and pin a scarf
on him, and throw him out on the path to the gate, and then he will turn
and slap the girl across where the dress is plaited, and she will go up
stairs with her hand on her heart, as it were, and the old man will jump
up and say "Whoop?"
The young men of this country have got gall enough about visiting girls
in the evening at their homes without filling their heads with any such
ideas in regard to their legal rights. There are very few fathers who
would quietly submit to being told to go away by a youth with a striped
neck tie and pants too short at the bottom.
These sparkers are looked upon by parents generally as a nuisance, and
often they are right. Nine-tenths of the sparking is done by boys who
haven't got their growth, and they look so green that it is laughable
for old folks to look at them. They haven't generally got a second
shirt, and they are no more qualified to get married than a steer is to
preach. And yet marrying is about the first thing they think of.
A green boy, without a dollar, present or prospective, sparking a girl
regularly and talking of marrying is a spectacle for gods and men. He
should be reasoned with, and if he will not quit it until he is able
to support a wife, and to know who he loves, and the difference between
love and passion, he should be quarantined or put in a convent erected
on purpose for such cases.
Nine-tenths of the unhappy marriages are the result of green human
calves being allowed to run at large in the society pasture without any
pokes on them. They marr
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